SUPERMAN VS. SUPERMAN (SUPERMAN III) by David Newman and Leslie Newman Screenplay Revised, April 1982 Director: Richard Lester Producers: Alexander Salkind Ilya Salkind Pierre Spengler FADE IN: INT. UNEMPLOYMENT BUREAU - DAY ON A WOODEN SIGN HANGING FROM THE CEILING. IT READS: Metropolis Unemployment Bureau PAN DOWN TO A ROW OF "TELLERS' CAGES" with long lines of PEOPLE waiting to collect their unemployment checks. A sign above the first window says "A - F", the second window is designated "G - L" and so on. CLOSE ON THE SECOND WINDOW -- Waiting his turn at the head of the line is a BLACK MAN in his early 30's. He kills time by trying to make a beat-up old wooden yo-yo perform the basic up-and-down maneuver, but he's not very good at it. He looks as if he's down on his luck: shiny pants, slightly frayed collar, an old windbreaker. One of life's chronic losers, he is one of those individuals who continue to believe in themselves despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. This is GUS GORMAN. Behind the teller's wicket is a middle-aged female CLERK with the requisite officious manner and heart of stone common to her profession. As the MAN ahead of GUS finishes his turn and walks away, she barks out: CLERK Name? GUS (as he tries to untangle his yo-yo string) Gus Gorman. She pulls his folder from her file, opens it, scowling. CLERK Ah yes, August Gorman. Have you looked for work this week, Mr. Gorman? GUS (this is a familiar routine to him) Yeah. CLERK What kind? GUS Kitchen. . . Technician CLERK Dishwasher? Any luck? GUS Nope, but -- CLERK Mr. Gorman, according to our records you have been unemployed for 36 weeks. GUS Thirty-five. CLERK Not counting this week. (looking at his folder) You secured employment last June as a messenger and were discharged after one day for. . . GUS They said I lost it on the subway, but it ain't the truth! It was a pickpocket took it! CLERK A television set? GUS Well, it was one of them little bitty two-inch screen Japanese jobs. CLERK The only other employment you found was in a fast-food joint-- (consulting dossier) -- which lasted. . . 28 minutes! Well! That's some kind of record. Talk about fast! GUS (protesting) Man, them people was crazy! How they 'spect you to learn all that jive on the first day? "Hold the pickle! Hold the lettuce! Extra onions! Special sauce! No special sauce!" Ain't nobody found no meat inside that glop yet. CLERK Mr. Gorman, the city of Metropolis is generous to a fault, but. . . GUS I know, I'm the fault. CLERK Thirty-six weeks of chronic unemployment, thirty-six weeks of living off the taxes of hard-working citizens. Do you know what you are? GUS Don't call me a bum! I ain't no bum! CLERK You are, I was about to say, no longer eligible. GUS (stunned) What about this week's check? CLERK (dismissing him summarily Next! The MAN behind him steps up to the counter as a frustrated, miserable GUS walks away. FOLLOW GUS. Muttering to himself about the injustice of it all, he starts for the exit, feeling in his pocket for his cigarettes. he takes out a crumpled pack, pries the paper open and fishes out his last smoke. . . a bent, shabby- looking cigarette. He puts the sorry object in his lips and searched his pockets for a match. No luck. NEW ANGLE -- He walks over to a MAN waiting on one of the lines, smoking a cigar. GUS Hey brother, got a match? The MAN hands him a matchbook. GUS takes it and is about to open it and light his cigarette, when the printing on the matchbook catches his eye. He looks closely at it. INSERT - TIGHT POV: One of those matchbook advertisements for a home-study course. There is a little line drawing of a smiling, successful man, and the sell line: "EARN BIG MONEY. BECOME A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER" HOLD ON THIS TIGHT C.U. OF THE MATCHBOOK AND FREEZE FRAME. Music: The stirring Superman theme begins. THE TITLES OF THE MOVIE APPEARS SUPERIMPOSED OVER THESE IMAGES. CUT TO: EXT. METROPOLIS STREETS - DAY (NOTE: The following sequence, which occurs during, under, and with CREDITS is designed as an elaborate, spectacular series of events based on the Rube- Goldberg principle, i.e., a serial development of cause-and-effect, escalating in scope and size. The "gimmick" that further marks this sequence is as follows: At the moment when each new development of "effect" is just about to manifest itself, the FRAME FREEZES and the next CREDIT (actors, composer, writers, director, etc.) appears. Then the FRAME UNFREEZES, the inevitable action takes place, leading to the next event in the chain of cause-and-effect until that perfect next moment comes when again there is a FREEZE FRAME, a CREDIT, and so on. In the following, we have refrained from indicating exactly where each FREEZE FRAME and CREDIT should be, as that is more precisely discovered in the editing process. Thus:) ESTABLISHING SHOT -- The busy streets of Metropolis on a typical weekday morning. Hustle and bustle, PEDESTRIANS and vehicles. It's nine-o'clock and people are on their way to work. As theme music continues, the sequence begins. 1. Coming out the front door of a building is an absolute knockout of a GIRL: voluptuous, sexy, young, and healthy. Her every step casues a series of mind- boggling ripples. She is seemingly oblivious to the effect she has on passers- by. About 25 years old, this is somebody we will be seeing much more of later. LORELEI AMBROSIA. 2. As she walks AWAY FROM CAMERA, her rear end reminding us of the proverbial puppies fighting in a sack, a GUY walking down the street from the opposite direction turns to ogle at her and therefore doesn't look where he's going. He bumps into a table-top tray of TOY WIND-UP PENGUINS being sold by a VENDOR. The PENGUINS, about 20 of them, go waddling off in different directions up and down the street. 3. A split-second later, a MAN IN A CAP, also walking in the opposite direction, comes abreast of LORELEI, turns to look at her, doesn't see that right in front of him (he's near the curb) is a street-sign post. He slams into it face first. 4. Clutching his smashed nose, he recoils backwards with a great lurch, banging full- force into a GIRL ON ROLLER SKATES. 5. Knocked off balance, wobbling erratically, she swerves and srashes into a hot dog wagon on the corner of the street. Standing there, buying a morning snack, is the DAILY PLANET photographer and cub reporter JIMMY OLSEN, on his way to the office. The HOT DOG VENDOR has put a frank on a bun and os about to squirt the mustard on it when the ROLLER SKATER crashes into the hot dog wagon. The mustard squirts on Jimmy's face instead and the wagon goes rolling away with considerable momentum. 6. On the corner of the next street are three telephone booths, side by side. In each booth is a CALLER. The LAST CALLER, A WOMAN, holds onto a leash, which dangles outside her phone booth. On the end of this leash is a LITTLE DOG, waiting patiently outside while his mistress talks on the phoneinside. The hot dog wagon, picking up speed, hits the first phone booth with considerable impact. 7. Causing a domino effect: the first booth tips over, with the GUY still inside it. and hits the second booth, tipping it and its OCCUPANT over, and that in turn knocks over the third booth, causing the LADY inside to lose her grip on the leash. Immediately the LITTLE DOG, startled by the crash, goes charging off down the street, trailing his leash. 8. Further down the street is a BLIND MAN holding the handle of the harness attached to his SEEING-EYE DOG stands in a doorway. As the LITTLE DOG comes running by, the SEEING-EYE DOG gets excited and pulls free of his MASTER, chasing the other DOG. Startled, the BLIND MAN staggers out into the street, feeling for his DOG, just as: 9. A AWHITE-LINE ROAD PAINTER workman is coming down the avenue, holding the handle of his motorized line-painting machine, which he is guiding precisely down the center of the street, painting, AS WE SEE a straight white line. He is distracted by the CHARGING DOGS and lets go of his machine momentarily. A moment later, the BLIND MAN staggers out into the road, reaches out and grasps what feels exactly like the handle of his Seeing-eye Dog harness. It ain't. It's the line-painting machine. 10. Which now continues down the road guided by a BLIND MAN, and the white line being painted curves, zig-zags, and bends so that any motorist trying to follow it would go berserk. 11. In the meantime, strolling down a side-street, with the characteristically springing step, affable smile for the world, neat suit, hat, and glasses comes none other than CLARK KENT. He suddenly jumps back as the LITTLE DOG comes whizzing by and instinctively reaches down with super-speed to grab the leash. This he does, but if the leash stops, the DOG doesn't. Instead the leash pulls free of the collar, leaving a bemused CLARK standing there holding an empty leash. 12. The DOGS whiz by the MAN IN THE CAP (fellow who keeps banging into things and getting hurt). As he leaps back to avoid them, he falls into an open manhole. 13. In the middle of the street, the white-line maker "guided" by the BLIND MAN, is heading for the area of the street where the open manhole is. The BLIND MAN loses control of the white-line painter and is about to step into the open hole, when: 14. The now-capless bald head of the MAN IN THE CAP emerges from the manhole, just in time for the BLIND MAN to step right on it (like a man crossing a pond by stepping on the stones). The BLIND MAN, busy whistling for his missing dog, never noticed how near to disaster he came, but the bald head of the poor MAN IN THE CAP is now imprinted with a black sole marl. 15. The white-line roller, with nobody steering it, crashes into a little barrier that has been set up on the other side of the open manhole. Customary smudge pots mark the barrier. The white-line roller hits a smudge pot. 16. The smudge pot goes rolling across the gutter, stops. From another direction comes one of those TOY PENGUINS. It hits the smudge pot and is immediately set on fire by the flame. 17. The now flaming PENQUIN continues walking across the street, towards a newspaper stand. Stacked on the curb beside it are a bundle of as-yet-unopened newspapers. The burning toy comes to a stop against the stack, which begins to smoulder. 18. Further down the street is a bank. And just at this moment, running out of the bank, a gun in one hand, a sack of stolen money in the other, comes a BANK ROBBER. A BANK GUARD races from the bank and gives chase. The BANK ROBBER doesn't see: 19. A MAN removing a ladder (the kind which hooks onto clamps from the side of a van truck). As the MAN and ladder turn, the ladder hook grabs the ROBBER'S hands. The MAN WITH THE LADDER, never realizing what he has done, swings round 180 degrees with the ladder and the money bag is pulled off the ladder by: 20. The wires of a scaffold where some BUILDING REPAIRMEN stand, just about to go up the side of a building. A second after the sack is deposited on the platform, the scaffold starts to rise. 21. The BANK GUARD fires at the ROBBER, but his shot misses and hits the windshield of a passing car. The windshield shatters and the DRIVER crashes into a fire hydrant on the curb. 22. Water gushes out of the hydrant, filling up the interior of the car like a goldfish bowl, the DRIVER trapped inside. 23. Across the street, the flaming newspapers have set the entire kiosk on fire. 24. Hearing the screams and shouts, CLARK KENT looks down the street and sees what's happening. Quickly, he looks around for a place to metamorphose sees none. 25. HE dashes down the street, pausing for a regretful look at the three phone booths on their sides (no way for him there). He spots an open storefront with one of those Photomat Booths inside, enters it, behind the curtain. We hear a coin drop in the slot; the OCCUPIED sign goes on; the lights flash. A moment later, bursting out of the booth. . . SUPERMAN! 26. He's just about to take off, when he does an "Oops!" as he remembers: the four photos drop into the receptacle. AS he turns to go back and get them, a KID wanders by and SUPERMAN grabs them out of his hand. ON THE PHOTOS: They show the change. PHOTO 1" Clark. 2. Clark with glasses off, shirt unbuttoned. 3. Further along. 4. SUPERMAN. Quickly he tears off the fourth picture and hands it to the astonished KID. 27. SUPERMAN lands on top of the car . . . now totally filled with water. Quickly, he rips open the sun roof, reaches inside and hauls the soggy DRIVER out. Then, jumping to the ground, he lifts the car off the hydrant, sets it down, then jams the broken hydrant back into the sidewalk, thereby stopping the gushing water. 28. Across the street, the kiosk is engulfed in flames. SUPERMAN lifts the car, flies across the street with it and turns it upside down over the fire. The water gushes out and douses the flames. 29. JIMMY OLSEN, watching from the sidewalk, sheers: JIMMY Way to go, Superman! 30. Up high on the outside of the building, the WORKERS on the scaffold turn to look down at what's happening on the street. ONE OF THEM kicks the sack of money over the side as he turns to look. 31. In the playground of the park on the next street, a YOUNG MOTHER (or a NANNY) lifts a little TODDLER from a baby carriage and sets him on one of end of a see-saw. Now she starts to walk around it to the other end so that she can give the little fellow a gentle see-saw ride. But before she gets there, the falling money bag lands full force on the (up) end of the see-saw. 32. Which causes the other end to fly upwards, catapulting the TODDLER straight up in the air. The YOUNG MOTHER screams. 33. The BABY lands in the topmost branches of a tree and howls. 34. SUPERMAN sees the problem, flies down and rescues the TODDLER. He hands him to the YOUNG MOTHER and flies off. 35. THE TWO PAINTERS are on a scaffold, about two stories up on the side of a building. One of them turns abruptly as he spots SUPERMAN flying by: FIRST PAINTER (to CO-WORKER) Mike, looks who's here! And as he turns, he inadvertently licks over one can of paint on its side, Paint slowly starts to drip out and over the side. 36. QUICK PAN DOWN TO STREET LEVEL BELOW WHERE WE LOOK through the window of a posh Art Gallery. Inside, a DIGNIFIED GENTLEMAN is paying a large sum of money to the OWNER as his purchase, a large oil painting in gilt frame, is being moved toward the door by the GALLERY WORKERS. 37. The DIGNIFIED GENTLEMAN exits the gallery first. As he steps out, the first drops of paint from the tipped-over paint can above starts to fall. He automatically opens his umbrella at the first sign of falling moisture. 38. After a pause, there seems to be no more precipitation. He closes up his umbrella. A second later, the entire can of paint falls on his head. 39. He reels backwards from the blow and crashes into a penny gumball machine on the sidewalk (outside an adjacent candy store). 40. The gumball machine crashes to the ground, the glass globe breaks and a hundred little gumballs roll onto the sidewalk. 41. Way down the street, the BANK ROBBER is fleeing from the pursuing BANK GUARD, constantly looking over his shoulder to see if he's gaining on him. 42. On the other side of the art gallery, PATRONS in a sidewalk café are being entertained by one of those STREET PERFORMERS seen everywhere lately . . . a second-rate Marcel Marceau, i.e. a white-faced, black leotard-garbed MIME. The MIME is doing the classic routine of a man climbing a hill against a strong wind. He doesn't see the gumballs rolling toward him until it is too late. Desperately trying to maintain his routine, his feet start going out of control, faster and faster. he loses balance completely and falls ungracefully on his ass. 43. The BANK ROBBER dashes down the street, COPS giving chase, and trips on the fallen MIME. The sudden halting of his rapid forward motion sends him falling straight forward just as: 44. The oil painting is being carried out of the gallery to a nearby car. The BAN KROBBER goes head-first right through the painting. 45. On the other side of the painting, a TEENAGER dribbling a basketball is knocked down by the ROBBER. The basketball bounces and goes flying through the air. 46. It lands in the cooker of a Hot Fog Wagon, which has finally come to a stop against the side of a building. The heat causes the basketball to swell . . . and swell . . . 47. CLARK KENT, in civvies again, comes out of a doorway. 48. ON THE BASKETBALL which swells to the bursting point and explodes. Pieces of rubber and strings of hot-dogs go flying into the air. 49. On street level, LORELEI AMBROSIA comes jiggling down the street, still having no idea of the events she set in motion. 50. Ahead of her, halfway down the block, a panel truck, its doors open, is parked in front of a bakery. A DELIVERY MAN emerges from the bakery, carrying a tray of custard pies. 51. The bakery's DELIVERY MAN doesn't see the hot dogs rolling on the sidewalk. He steps on them, trips. This causes: 52. A custard pie to fly up into the air, heading right for the unsuspecting kisser of LORELEI, who is walking the other way. 53. CLARK spots what is about to happen and, with a very deft move, slides in front of the momentarily startled girl and, in the same motion, reaches one hand up and catches the pie neatly just when it was inches away from her face. Still in one smooth motion, CLARK whisks it away and out of sight like a very clever waiter, as LORELEI, who never noticed, continues on. 54. What CLARK doesn't notice, though, is the bruised battered MAN IN THE CAP who turns the corner exactly at this second and walks smack-on right into the custard pie in CLARK'' outstretched hand. CLARK Oh! Sorry about that. 55. As the MAN IN THE CAP stands there wiping pie off his face, CLARK steps to the curb and waits for the light to change so he can cross. 56. NEW ANGLE -- A big truck comes down the street. There's a large puddle on the gutter, the residue of an early morning rain. The curbside tires run through the water, causing it to splash CLARK. AS the big splash hits him, this is THE FINAL FREEZE FRAME and the FINAL (DIRECTOR'S) CREDIT. ON CLARK -- He looks down in mild dismay. His pant legs are soaking wet. Quickly, he turns and walks into the park entrance. FOLLOW HIM as he sits down on an unoccupied bench. Trying not to call attention to himself, he opens his newspaper, pretends to read it. It is today's DAILY PLANET. CLOSER ON CLARK -- He looks around to make sure nobody is noticing him. Nobody is. Satisfied, he raises his glasses and looks down at his wet pants. EFFECTS: The red rays of Heat Vision emanate from his eyes, aims at his pants as he extends his legs on the park bench. In a second, the pants are magically dries and re-pleated. CLARK (to himself) Neatness counts. Satisfied, he continues to walk to work. As CLARK walks OUT OF FRAME, PAN UP to the second floor of a small building, the kind where there's a store on the ground floor and a few offices above it. PAN STOPS on the window, on which is lettered: ARCHIBALD DATA PROCESSING SCHOOL INT. DATA PROCESSING SCHOOL ROOM - DAY A bunch of students are clustered around INSTRUCTORS, who sits at the keyboard of a small computer, demonstrating. FIRST STUDENT But what if you want to program two bilateral coordinates at the same time? INSTRUCTOR You can't. It's impossible. FIRST STUDENT Computer technology is quite advanced, young man, but it can't do that. A voice from the assembled students is heard: VOICE (hesitantly) Uh. . . The GROUP parts to reveal GUS GORMAN. HE mumbles and reaches over to the keyboard. H punches some buttons while the INSTRUCTOR looks on with a patronizing smile. Suddenly the INSTUCTOR'S expression changes to one of astonishment. INSTRUCTOR Good Lord! How did you do that? GUS (shrugging) Just did it, that's all. EXT. DAIILY PLANET - DAY ESTABLISHING SHOT of the office building. INT. PERRY WHITE'S OFFICE - DAY INSERT -- On a 8 x 10 photograph laying on a desktop. It shows a handsome MAN in his mid-40's, wearing black tie, standing up at a formal dais table, holding a plaque. A captain of industry who has taken pains to present himself as a "regular guy," this is ROSS WEBSTER. As CAMERA studies this photo, we hear the voice of PERRY WHITE asking: PERRY (o.s.) Who's this? JIMMY (o.s.) That's him, Ross Webster. This was just after they presented him with the award for Humanitarian of the Year. LOIS (o.s.) Good-looking. JIMMY (o.s.) That's because I gave him f.2 at a 50th. FULL SHOT -- Three PEOPLE are in PERRY'S office, looking at photographs spread out on a table. Shirtsleeves rolled up, tie knot loosened -- that's PERRY WHITE. Surrounded by a great many shiny, chic shopping bags and looking particularly fetching and cheerful today is LOIS LANE. Displaying the photos is JIMMY OLSEN. PERRY Olsen, there's one thing I don't understand. The point of the story Lois wrote is how the Ross Webster got this great honor. You bring me one photograph of him and fifteen pictures of this person! As he says this, he points to a bunch of other photos on the desk: ON THE PHOTOS -- They are various shots of the same GIRL whose wiggle caused all the chaos on the streets before: LORELEI AMBROSIA. She is seated at the banquet dais in a low cut gown. As we SEE these, PERRY'S speech continues: PERRY Who is she? JIMMY Her name's Lorelei Ambrosia. She's Webster's Girl Friday. LOIS Oh, I think Saturday, too. NEW ANGLE -- As PERRY takes another photo from the pile and studies it. PERRY Who's the other woman? JIMMY That's his sister. Vera Webster. PERRY The picture looks blurry. LOIS The picture's fine. That's the way she looks in real life. INSERT: ON THE PHOTO -- Showing a no-nonsense, severe-looking woman in her late 40's. This is Ross' older, spinster sister: Vera Webster. JIMMY (o.s.) She's vice-president of Webco Industries. ON THEM PERRY You're amazing, Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring back 3,000 boring pictures. Then Superman puts out a fire on Third Avenue this morning and you stand there and watch the whole thing and you don't take one picture!! JIMMY I didn't have my camera with me. PERRY (exasperated) A photographer eats with his camera, A Photographer sleeps with his camera -- LOIS Glad I'm a writer. At which point, the door opens and a grumpy, middle-aged WOMAN enters, pushing a bizarre object on wheels before her. The WOMAN is MISS HENDERSON from Circulation Department. The thing she pushes is one of those revolving drum Bingo machines with a hand crank on the side that turns a cog, which makes the hundreds of little white plastic balls churn about until one of them falls into the chute. Attached to it is a big promotional sign, which reads: "JINGO! Daily Planet Big Prize Bingo, by JINGO!!" From this ANGLE we can SEE that in the adjacent office, behind the glass, is a bulletin board with JINGO written over it and a MAN waiting in there. MISS HENDERSON Mr. White, please, it's time for you to draw this month's winning JINGO number. (to LOIS) The prize is an all-expenses trip to South America. PERRY (irritated) Why can't the idiot in Circulation who dreamed up this imbecile contest in the first place --- MISS HENDERSON Because you're the Editor-in-Chief. Your integrity is unquestioned. LOIS I have a question. Suddenly coming through the door is CLARK KENT, almost tripping over the shopping bags around LOIS. CLARK Hi, Lois. Morning, Jimmy, you've got mustard on your lapel. Excuse me, Mr. White, I don't mean to interrupt but --- PERRY Please, Kent, not now. I'm trying to put out a newspaper here. And he starts cranking the Bingo machine. LOIS It'll never replace the printing press, boss. MISS HENDERSON (impatiently) What's the number, Mr. White? CLOSER ANGLE -- PERRY pries apart the plastic ball; it splits into two half- spheres. Inside is a folded piece of paper. He removes it, unfolds it, reads it. PERRY (unenthusiastically) 53. MISS HENDERSON (calling out in piercing tones to the next office) 53! SEEN THROUGH THE GLASS DIVIDER" THE MAN in the next room tacks the number 53 up on the board. PERRY Okay? Goodbye. MISS HENDERSON You've got to pick three more numbers. Furiously, PERRY starts to crank the machine again. CLARK Mr. White, please, I promised those people I'd get back to them by this morning. What do you think? PERRY Look, I don't know, Kent. . . CLARK (pitching hard) Personally, I think it could be a terrific story! C.U. LOIS -- Accusingly, as if she were being robbed of an assignment. LOIS What terrific story? PERRY Kent's been invited to his high-school class reunion. LOIS Whoopee. CLARK (fired up) It's practically an American ritual, Mr. White! Isn't that so, Jimmy? JIMMY I wouldn't know Mr. Kent. Most of the people I went to high school with are still in high school. MISS HENDERSON (impatiently) Could we have the next number already? PERRY stops cranking, another ball falls out, and he opens it. MISS HENDERSON (hollering out) 33! The GUY in the next room puts up 33. CLARK (won't be stopped) Anyway, the reunion's just the hook for the story. What it's really about is how the typical small town's changed in the last fifteen years. how do you like this a title: Can You Go Home Again ? LOIS Say! CLARK (not picking up the put-on) Take me, for instance. Going back to middle America after having become a Metropolis sophisticate -- C.U. LOIS -- She looks at CLARK fondly, but she can't quite buy that self- description. CLARK (brightly) I'm really excited about this. I even -- He opens his briefcase, pulls out a neatly folded maroon wool pullover. CLARK -- I was looking through my closet last and, sure enough, O found my old high school sweater. FULL ON HIM as he unfolds it and holds it proudly in front of his chest. In the middle of it, right where the Superman monogram is located, is a big white block letter "S". ON PERRY, LOIS AND JIMMY looking at him. ON CLARK -- He points to the "S". CLARK (explaining) Smallville. NEW ANGLE MISS HENDERSON (whiney, nudging) Mr. White! Scowling like mad, PERRY cranks the handle again. PERRY I'm getting a cramp in my elbow from this. CLARK (helpfully as ever) Let me do it for you, Mr. White. With characteristic over-enthusiasm, CLARK starts to crank the handle too rapidly. CLARK (eagerly) So, Mr. White? Can I go ahead and make my travel arrangements? LOIS Exactly what I was about to ask about me. Suddenly, the handle breaks off the drum due to CLARK'S over-exertion. He stands there with egg on his face and crank in hand. MISS HENDERSON Do you know what that machine cost? CLARK Uh. . . sorry -- PERRY All right, Kent. I just hope you know what you're doing. If you really think Smallville is your big chance, go for it. JIMMY What about me? PERRY What about you? JIMMY A story like this cries out for great human interest pictures. (envisioning them) The big dance! The Homecoming Game! Mr. Kent posing next to his old locker! LOIS Hey, I'd definitely shoot color on that one, Jimmy. It'd be a crime to just use black and white. PERRY Okay, Kent, call your people and tell them the Prodigal Son is coming home. FAVORING CLARK -- Happy now, he turns to leave the office. SHOT LOSES PERRY but we continue to hear his voice, o.s. PERRY (o.s.) I just hope you realize, it's not easy losing my top reporter -- Beaming at the unexpected compliment, CLARK turns back just as: FULL SHOT PERRY -- but you deserve the vacation, Lois. CLARK (surprised) Oh. You're going away. LOIS (kidding, with a grin) Yeah, well, some of us get to go to Smallville. And some of us just have to settle for . . . She reaches into one of the shopping bags and pulls out the world's teeniest, tiniest bikini. LOIS . . . Bermuda. CLARK'S eyes widen at the image that comes to his mind. MISS HENDERSON (impatient) Mr. White, the next number, please? PERRY How'm I supposed to turn this thing? MISS HENDERSON (demonstrating, she tumbles the drum over by hand) By hand. Like the pioneers did. PERRY Couldn't we just get a computer to do this? CUT TO: INT. COMPUTER ROOM - WEBCO - DAY CAMERA DOLLIES THROUGH TWO GLASS DOORS (POV A ROLLING CART ENTERING THE ROOM). WE SEE THE WORDS STENCILED ON THE DOOR: WEBCO INDUSTRIES - DATA PROCESSING CENTER The room we ENTER is one of those enormous computer centers. Along the walls are the massive data consoles, their tape decks alternately rolling and stopping. Other machines extrude massive print-outs. In the center of the room are desks, one after another, with small table-top computer consoles, the sort that are operated from a keyboard. VARIOUS WORKERS are seen doing their jobs, including the ones operating the keyboard computers. They move rapidly around in a curious and unique fashion: each WORKER sits on a chair that has ball bearing wheels and they propel themselves from terminal to terminal by skittering around without leaving their chairs. To facilitate this action, they all wear white tennis shoes, which grips the floor for maximum purchase. The impression we get is one of robot-like humans zipping around from machine to machine. WIDE SHOT, REVERSE -- Revealing that the rolling cart which took us into the room is pushed by an EMPLOYEE who stops at each desk and hands each person an envelope . . . it's payday and they're getting their paychecks. As we DOLLY BACK we SEE in F.G. two desks, side by side, with a keyboard console with video display on each. One of them is manned by our friend with the matchbook: GUS GORMAN. Across the aisle is his fellow-worker, FRED. The MAN handing out the checks stops at GUS' desk, gives him his. GUS takes the envelope, opens it, as FRED gets the same and the cart continues on. CLOSE ON GUS -- He looks in astonished dismay at his check. GUS Sonofagun! Look at this here! FRED First paycheck? GUS First rip-off, man! Supposed to be 225 bucks a week! You know what this sucker says?? $143.80! (reading it, angry) Federal tax! State tax! Social Security tax! FRED That's so you're still getting some money when you hit 65. GUS (gets up, starts to walk) I ain't gonna live that long on $143.80! I want it now, man, while I'm still young and cool. INT. EMPLOYEES' CAFETERIA - DAY GUS and FRED enter the cafeteria, continuing their conversation. TRACK WITH THEM, as they walk down to the coffee machine. GUS mutters and works hi yo-yo with no success. FRED Actually, it's probably more like $143.80 and one-half cent. (GUS gives him a puzzled look) There's always fractions over in a big corporation, but they round it down to the lowest whole number. GUS What'm I gonna do with half a cent? Buy me a thoroughbred cockroach? (pause; he starts to think about it) Everybody loses them fractions? FRED They don't actually lose 'em. You can't lose what you never got. GUS Who gets it, the company? FRED No, not really. They can't be bothered collecting half a cent from your paycheck anymore than you could. GUS So where is all them half-centses? FRED They're just . . . floating around out there. The computer knows where. C.U. GUS -- lost in thought NEW ANGLE -- By now they've reached the coffee urn. FRED pulls the lever and fills two cups, reaches for the bowl of sugar cubes. FRED How many sugars? GUS One. (pause. As FRED drops one in the cup) And a half. DISSOLVE TO: INT. WEBCO COMPUTER ROOM - TWILIGHT WIDE SHOT -- The end of the day. Employees putting on their coats, changing from the white sneakers into normal street shoes, leaving, saying good-night, etc. ON GUS -- Seated at his keyboard, a faintly manic gleam in his eyes. HE stares at the video display screen, his fingers brushing the keys. NEW ANGLE -- FRED puts on his jacket, gets ready to leave. FRED Quittin' time, Gus. Comin'? GUS Uh . . . no, man. I got some work to finish up here. FRED (archly) Workin' overtime? What are you doin', buddy, looking for a raise? GUS (almost to himself) Yeah. A raise . . FRED shakes his head, turns, and leaves. LONG SHOT -- the data processing center is empty of PEOPLE now. Just the computers and GUS. MED. CLOS ON GUS -- he takes his paycheck out of the envelope again and looks closely at it. INSERT -- ON THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF THE CHECK is a short sequence of numbers and letters. GUS (repeating them aloud) 368zzx4. TIGHT ANGLE -- he punches those numbers and letters on his keyboard. ON THE VIDEO DISPLAY -- the numbers and letters appear on the screen. Then, a moment later: HELLO. WEBCO PAYROLL DIVISION. GIVE COMMAND COORDINATES. ON GUS -- a broad grin. GUS (a man who sees the future opening before him) Yeah ! He begins to punch coordinates into the keyboard. In a QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS, WE SEE VARIOUS COMPUTERS OF DIFFERENT TYPES, IN DIFFERENT LOCATION as they begin to flash, and/or light up and/or turn their memory bank tapes and/or beep and/or do other 'computer stuff'. The effect is to clearly indicate that what GUS is doing is having a result, that his computer is activating other. EXT. TWO-LANE HIGHWAY - NIGHT MED. LONG SHOT -- A Greyhound bus is travelling down a two-lane highway, which runs alongside a woodsy, rural area. INT. GREYHOUND BUS - NIGHT A lot of the PASSENGERS are sleeping. A few read by the little individual overhead lights. Perhaps a couple cuddling in the back seat. Seated side by side toward the rear of the bus are CLARK and JIMMY. CLARK is half-dozing and trying to seem interested in what is obviously an interminable story that JIMMY is telling him. JIMMY But my Uncle Al, on my father's side, he won't eat her stuffing, he says it should be cooked on the outside of the turkey and she puts the stuffing inside the turkey. So my mother told my Aunt Ellen . . . Aunt Ellen's my father's half-sister, I told you that, right? CLARK Mmmmm . . . JIMMY The thing is though, my cousin Arnold, Aunt Rosey's Arnold this is, he got mad when Uncle Al insulted his mother's stuffing, so now the problem is -- CLARK (suddenly alert, looking forward) What's that? POV: LOOKING FORWARD DOWN THE AILSE -- The bus has stopped. Out the windshield we SEE a red glow on the horizon that lights up the sky. TWO SHOT -- CLARK AND JIMMY JIMMY Wow, what a beautiful sunrise! CLARK At one o'clock in the morning? CLOSER ON THE WINDSHIELD -- We now SEE police cars with dome lights blocking the road, barrier set up. EXT. TWO-LANE HIGHWAY - NIGHT A few minutes later. The BUS DRIVER has gotten out to talk to the POLICEMAN blocking the road. CLARK, JIMMY, and some OTHER PASSENGERS have come out of the bus also to find out what's happening. Throughout the following, CUT TO VARIOUS ANGLES showing other traffic being halted and one lane cleared for emergency vehicles to pass through: ambulances, fire trucks, National Guard truck, etc. STATE POLICEMAN It's your choice. Turn back or pull over to the side of the road till it's over. BUS DRIVER How long'll that take? STATE POLICEMAN You never know with forest fires. And this one is spreading like . . . (he has no choice but to finish the sentence he started) . . . wildfire. We got 10,000 acres of timber going up like matchsticks and a south wind. CLARK What's the south wind got to do with it? STATE POLICEMAN Iroquois Trail Power Plant is just eight miles south of the fire. JIMMY The nuclear power station? JIMMY turns and runs back onto the bus. INT. BUS - NIGHT JIMMY grabs his camera from the overhead rack, dashes out again. EXT. BUS - NIGHT CLARK How did it start? STATE POLICEMAN Nine times out of ten it's some careless camper. CLARK Are there campers trapped in there? STATE POLICEMAN We're doing our best to get 'em out. JIMMY comes out of the bus, pulls CLARK aside. JIMMY Keep talking to that state trooper so he doesn't notice where I'm going, okay? CLARK What are you doing? JIMMY You know what Mr. White said. A photographer always goes after a story. He starts to sneak off into the nearby forest. CLARK Jimmy, it's dangerous! On JIMMY -- The swashbuckling bravado of a 19 year-old: JIMMY Danger? That goes with the territory, Mr. Kent. And he ducks into the woods. C.U. CLARK -- making a decision. NEW ANGLE -- As more cars have been stooped, a DRIVER, in F.G. gets out of his car to walk forward toward the barrier to see what's going on. CLARK looks around to make sure nobody is noticing him. Then, quickly, he opens the right- hand side back door of the empty car and enters. A split-second later he emerges from the left-hand side as . . . SUPERMAN! He takes off. CUT TO: EXT. FOREST FIRE - NIGHT OVERHEAD SHOTS (STOCK FOOTAGE): A terrific forest fire is raging. Miles and miles of burning trees, rushing winds. EXT. FOREST - NIGHT VARIOUS SHOTS (STOCK FOOTAGE) INSIDE THE FIRES ITSELF ON GROUND LEVEL. 1. Flaming trees, timber crashing. 2. Animals running in panic. 3. Sheets of flame sweeping through woods. Followed by VARIOUS QUICK SHOTS of brave and hard-working FIREFIGHTERS right in the thick of it, doing what they can: 1. Spading up the ground with shovels and hoes, trying to create firebreaks. 2. Chain-saws at work bringing down trees to to clear area. 3. A portable pump with hose attached drawing water from a small pond or creek in the area. Throughout all this, we have the impression of a blazing inferno of terrific proportions with sheets of flame and sounds of fire and falling trees and whipping winds. EXT. STAGING AREA, FOREST FIRE - NIGHT ESTABLISHING SHOT -- The command post of the firefighting operation. Ambulances with MEDICS ready; fire trucks; hot soup and coffee wagons; EXHAUSTED FIREFIGHTERS getting a break, taking oxygen, drinking coffee, etc; FRESH TROOPS putting on their gear. CLOSER-- THE FIRE CHIEF, clad in woodsy rainment, but with a badge denoting his status, stands conferring with his AIDE. He looks haggard, hot, worried. He holds a walkie-talkie. Suddenly, SUPERMAN lands in the area. SUPERMAN Chief, how can I help? FIRE CHIEF (calling to assistant) Get this man a helmet and a --- (suddenly realizes who it is) Oh! It's you! (calling to assistant) No helmet! SUPERMAN What's the story? FIRE CHIEF This is a fierce one, Superman. We've got a hundred and twenty men on the northeast border building firebreaks. I've got volunteers coming in from as far away as Ohio. They're doing all they can, but -- CAMERA PANS TO SEE EXHAUSTED FIREFIGHTERS, faces covered with soot, sitting on the ground and breathing deeply from oxygen masks, trying to get themselves together, as speech continues: FIRE CHIEF (o.s.) they're only human. PAN CONINUES TO A NEARBY AREA WHERE WE SEE, coming toward the soup kitchen, a bedraggled and besmirched BOY SCOUT TROOP 9about EIGHT BOYS AND A SCOUT MASTER) who were obviously evacuated from the forest. They are all turning and giving dirty looks to someone who walks a few paces behind them: a LONE BOY SCOUT, looking very forlorn and guilty, holding two fire making sticks and a bow. This is obviously the twerp who started the forest fire in the first place. EXT. CABIN IN THE WOODS - NIGHT In the middle of the forest, a log cabin sits in a clearing. Beside it is one of those butane gas tanks. The fire envelops it. NEW ANGLE -- The butane tank explodes. The cabin explodes. Flames devour it in seconds. EXT. FOREST FIRE - NIGHT Leaping out from the tops of the trees, whizzing on the high winds, sparks and fire balls sail through the air. ON AN UNSCHORCHED PART OF THE FOREST -- Fire balls land in a clear area. In VARIOUS ANGLES, WE SEE new fires start up. NEW ANGLE -- as FIREFIGHTERS race into this area and begin flailing away at the fresh brushfires with shovels and picks, trying to extinguish these new fires before they really get going. EXT. WATCH-TOWER, FOREST - NIGHT LONG SHOT -- A wooden tower used for fire-spotting in the middle of the forest. From this distance, we can barely make out that somebody is up there in the tower, standing on the ledge. CLOSER ON THE TOWER -- It's JIMMY OLSEN, who has secured himself a marvelous vantage point for taking photos of the fire. WIDE ANGLE ON THE TOWER--what he doesn't realize is that the flames are creeping up behind the tower and will soon envelop it. EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE FOREST - NIGHT VARIOUS SHOTS OF FIREFIGHTERS building firebreaks. It is a slow and laborious process. Some MEN chop down trees to clear the break line. Others turn the fresh earth with spades. Others haul the fallen timber out of the way. They work feverishly, but it's hard work and slow going. NEW ANGLE -- SUPERMAN lands in their midst. They're so exhausted they can barely muster up the customary surprise. SUPERMAN (all business) Stand back, guys. Where do you want this firebreak? CREW LEADER (pointing) From there to there. FAVORING SUPERMAN as he quickly selects a stout, tall tree. As the MEN watch in astonishment, SUPERMAN grabs the base of the tree and with -- EFFECTS: SUPER-STRENGTH (and a bit of super-strain) he pulls the tree out of the ground, roots and all. Quickly he hauls it to a clear area and ties a length of cable around it, creating an instant harness for himself. NEW ANGLE -- He throws the cable over his shoulders, hooks his arm in it, and begins to race at: EFFECTS: SUPER-SPEED straight through the heavily wooded area. The tree, pulled behind him like a horizontal plow, knocks down all the trees in its path. They fall to either side like so many pick-up sticks. LONG SHOT -- The FIREFIGHTERS stand at the point of his departure and see the instant firebreak being created before their eyes. LONG WIDE ANGLE DOWN (ARIAL SHOT) -- We SEE the firebreak forming, the tall trees crashing down to the ground on either side of the blue speedball that is SUPERMAN. ON THE FORMAN OF THE FIREBREAK CREW, who speaks into his walkie-talkie to the central command post: FORMAN Chief, this is the North Boundary Crew. We've got a firebreak that should contain it on our end. EXT. COMMAND POST, FOREST - NIGHT CHIEF (to walkie-talkie) It's not going to be that easy on the south side. The winds are blowing fireballs right over the breaks. EXT. IROQUOIS TRAIL NUCLEAR POWER STATION (TOWERS) - NIGHT ESTABLISHING SHOT -- An icon of our times: the three concrete silos we associate with nuclear energy stations, c.f. Three Mile Island. In the distance, we SEE the glow of the fire. ON THE GATE surrounding the tower closest to the forest. A number of SCIENTISTS, SECURITY MEN, etc. are standing there watching the approaching fire through binoculars. Behind them, we SEE the largest of the towers looming. A very worried PLANT SUPERVISOR puts downs his binoculars and turns to the SECURITY CHIEF standing beside him. PLANT SUPERVISOR Man, if that fire gets much closer, we're going to have ourselves some big trouble. SECURITY CHIEF The nuclear reactor? PLANT SUPERVISOR (grimly) You figure it out. That -- (points at tower) is a cooling tower, right? The nuclear core inside it is stabilized by the temperature. If the fire gets here, it'll stop being a cooling tower, and turn into a furnace. C.U. SECURITY CHIEF SECURITY CHIEF Oh, my God! You mean a melt-down! PLANT SUPERVISOR Get the civil defense people on the phone. We may have to evacuate the whole damn state! EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE FOREST, A-FRAME COTTAGE - NIGHT An A-frame summer cottage has been constructed in a clearing in the woods. ANGLE FAVORS the big glass façade of it, one enormous picture window with wood trim. The window reflects the fire coming closer to the house. CLOSER ON THE GLASS as is begins to heat up and distort the image of the encroaching flames. Suddenly, the window buckles and blows out with a terrific crash. EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT MED. LONG SHOT -- HEADING TOWARD CAMERA, a camper trailer (recreational vehicle) is speeding down a dirt road, trying to get to safety. But its back end has already caught on fire. ON THE CAB -- A TERRIFIED DRIVER, HIS WIFE, AND THEIR KID in there. NEW ANGLE -- Finally, as the flames begin to consume more of the vehicle, the DRIVER brakes to a halt. HE and his family run like hell away just before the trailer explodes in a ball of fire. EXT. COMMAND POST, FOREST - NIGHT The CHIEF looks incredulous at something he's just heard over his walkie-talkie. CHIEF What??! (to walkie-talkie) How did he get there? (to AIDE beside him) Some lunatic is up in the watch- tower taking pictures. AIDE So? CHIEF So that tower's right in the middle of pure hell right now! EXT. WATCHTOWER, FOREST - NIGHT MED. CLOSE ON THE TOP OF THE TOWER -- JIMMY is taking photos, so intent and excited that he doesn't realize what danger he's in. LONG SHOT -- The flames attack the struts of the tower. They start to collapse. The entire tower buckles and topples forward like a man with two (suddenly) broken legs. TIGHTER ANGLE -- As it falls. JIMMY is hurled out of the tower onto the ground. ON JIMMY-- He lays there, moaning in pain, clutching his leg (which is broken). Surrounded by fire. Things look very bad for him. ANGLE UP -- Suddenly, SUPERMAN appears walking through a wall of flame. He is unhurt by the fire. He makes his way to the fallen JIMY, lifts him up and flies out of the fire. EXT. COMMAND POST, AMBULANCES - NIGHT The area of the command post where the ambulances are waiting. DOCTORS, NURSES, MEDICS, etc. stand by. SUPERMAN lands with JIMMY in his arms and gently lays him on one of the stretchers just by the ambulance. SUPERMAN Easy, Jimmy. JIMMY (in pain) It's my leg. SUPERMAN looks at Jimmy's leg. We see an X-ray shot of the broken bone. SUPERMAN (to the MEDIC) It's a clean break right across the fibula. CUT TO COMMAND POST as a breathless FIREFIGHTER runs up to report to his CHIEF. FIREFIGHTER The water supply is practically gone! CHIEF (worried) We've got to get water! FIREFIGHTER How? Lake Comooga is five miles from here. We haven't got a five mile hose. C.U. SUPERMAN -- as he hears about the problem. SUPERMAN Where is this lake? CHIEF (points) That way. SUPERMAN immediately flies off in that direction. EXT. LAKE SHORE - NIGHT MED. WIDE SHOT -- SUPERMAN lands at the edge of a lake about 200 yards long and wide. He surveys the expanse of water before him. Then: SPECIAL EFFECTS: He blows a steady gust of ice-breath across the surface of the lake. In moments, the entire surface freezes solid. NEW ANGLE -- He bends down and grasps the edge of the ice cover in his hands. It's about five-inches thick. Slowly, he begins to pull and lift at the same time. WIDE SHOT -- The entire platter of ice, the size of the lake, is lifted off the top. Holding it before him, SUPERMAN flies into the sky. EXT. SKY - NIGHT An amazing sight: SUPERMAN FLYING toward the glowing red sky where the forest fire rages, holding the enormous ice platter before him. He arrives over the center of the forest fire. He flings the frozen lake over the fire. As the ice starts to fall, the heat from below melts it and turns in into a tremendous torrent of water. VARIOUS ANGLES -- The melted lake water puts out the major part of the fire. ON THE GROUND, REACTIONS from the FIREFIGHTERS, etc. Total joy and amazement. EXT. IROQUOIS TRAIL NUCLEAR POWER TOWER - NIGHT The flames have spread to the base of the tower now, licking at the sides. CREWS of WORKERS, SCIENTISTS et al have been hastily organized into firefighting units. They are hosing down the sides of the main tower, trying to cool it. Steam erupts as the water hits the hot concrete. SECURITY GUARD It's not going to work! It's too hot now! EXT. SKY - NIGHT SUPERMAN flies at top speed toward the Iroquois Trail towers in B.G. INTERCUT SHOTS of SUPERMAN closer to the familiar silos and FIREFIGHTERS on the ground, trying to hose down the silo and put out the encroaching flames all around it. LONG SHOT -- SUPERMAN flies directly into the largest concrete silo. INT. INNER CHAMBER, NUCLEAR REACTOR - NIGHT Sound: a strident alarm going continuously, a sound of panic. ON A GAUGE -- A needle has zipped into the Red for Danger area and is wobbling wildly at the end of the scale. PULL BACK TO REVEAL a harried SCIENTIST in white coat. SCIENTIST It's going right off the end of the scale, Dr. Harris! FULL SHOT -- The outer chamber of the reactor. SCIENTISTS at their stations, manning dials. Behind three thick glass shields we SEE into the inner chamber where no man can go. Mechanical robot-arms are controlled from the outer chamber. DR. HARRIS Start the emergency cooling procedure. CLOSER ON THE WINDOW showing the inner chamber -- all stainless steel and white tile. In the center, on a kind of platform, the nuclear core glows red hot, emanating pulsations of radiation. A fearful thing. It appears to be two cylinders, each about a foot long, and as it approaches destabilization, the two cylinders (one above the other) are moving closer and closer to each other. It is clear that if they join it will be irrevocable. Melt-down will occur. SCIENTIST It isn't helping! We're about two minutes from melt-down! Suddenly, SUPERMAN lands inside the chamber. DR. HARRIS Superman! (talking though intercom) Be careful! There's enough radiation in that core to light up the whole country for a year! SUPERMAN Don't worry. I'll just stabilize it. CLOSER -- SUPERMAN grasps the red-hot cylinders. A fleeting expression on his face lets us know the even he finds this pretty hot stuff. Slowly, with great caution and great power, he pulls the two cylinders apart further and further, back into their housing. ON THE GAGE -- The needle drops back to NORMAL. Sound: the alarm that has been ringing suddenly quits. REACTIONS -- Incredible relief from the SCIENTISTS. Mopping their brows, etc. SUPERMAN smile to the scientists and flies up and out of the silo. DR. HARRIS (in wonderment) It isn't very scientific, gentlemen, but I tell you that man is a miracle. EXT. SMALLVILLE HIGH SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT C.U. (PROFILE) of a very little OLD LADY: ancient, now-retired teacher MINNIE BANISTER, peering at the shirt and tie on a chest, which is exactly at her eye level. As she cranes her neck upwards to address the head on top of this body and says: MINNIE BANNISTER You really have grown, Clark. WE PAN UP WITH HER GAZE to REVEAL CLARK KENT smiling gently down at her. CLARK You're looking well, Miss Bannister. WIDER -- The gym is decorated: crepe paper, balloons, posters, colored lights, and blow-ups of the old black and white graduation photos of the alumni, including one of the series, studios, bespectacled young CLARK KENT, mixed with standard yearbook shots of the great moments of the class of '65 (big games, Senior Prom, production of 'Our Town,' etc.). Surrounded by COUPLES dancing tot he strains of Golden Oldies from their high school era, CLARK continues to make polite chat with MINNIE BANNISTER until, suddenly, he focuses on something across the room. CLARK'S POV: Across the room, a YOUNG WOMAN about his age has just entered the gym, carrying a stack of records in one arm and a stack of paper plates in the other. Red-haired and very pretty in an all-American way, LANA LANG seems like the kind of girl who would instantly be surrounded by friends and admirers. Oddly, she's not. In fact, she is the only woman here without a mate or even a date. As if to platy down her aloneness, she instantly gets busy, quickly checking the refreshments and adjusting a loose decoration. But then, as she picks up her plates and records again and turns to CAMERA she sees, through the spaces between dancing COUPLES, something that makes her stop. And smile. C.U. LANA -- Her eyes sparkling with delight as she mimes the word to him: LANA Clark? C.U. CLARK -- A warm smile for her as he too mouths her name: CLARK LANA? As we are SEEING all this interplay, we are at the same time hearing: MINNIE BANNISTER (o.s.) I can't complain. Oh, I take the stairs a bit slower these days, and of course I get theses spells, but I can't complain... CLARK Will you excuse me, Miss Bannister? There's someone I really have to say hello to. NEW ANGLE -- FULL SHOT as they make their way to each other. CLOSER -- There's a lot of unspoken past history between CLARK and LANA. Indeed, he had a serious crush on her during all his young years and she knew it even if she didn't acknowledge it then. Now, fifteen years later, they are very glad to see each other again. CLARK Lana Lang. How great to see you. LANA Clark. She suddenly leans forward and kisses him on the cheek. (A NOTE ON LANA LANG: Lana is one of these people, who, both by nature and by exigencies of her situation, seems to be carrying on three conversations at once and often doing two or three different tasks at once. Although such people seem perfectly clear in their own minds about the direction their thoughts are going in, it's often confusing and disconcerting to others. As Lana is often keeping three conversation balls in the air simultaneously, Clark is hardput to keep up with her, getting lost in the conversation, thinking she means one thing, when in fact she's gone on to another subject. The effect is comical for us, a bit unsettling for him, and should finally be genuinely charming and adorable in his eyes. In the dialogue as written, Lana's separate thoughts are indicated by breaks and indications, but in performance they should run right into each other non-stop). LANA You look wonderful. CLARK You always did. (indicating plates and dishes) Can I give you a hand with that? They start walking toward the buffet table. TRACK WITH THEM. LANA No, I can mange, This is the first time you've been back since your mom passed away, isn't it? (as he nods) I can't believe it. TRACK WITH THEM. LANA No, I can mange, This is the first time you've been back since your mom passed away, isn't it? (as he nods) I can't believe it. You came all the way from Metropolis just for this dinky little reunion? They stop. CLARK You shouldn't say that, you're the chairman -- (uncertainly) ...uh, chairperson... LANA (struck by the thought) And here I am, just standing here. That's terrible. Thank you. CLARK (confused) You're welcome...?? LANA For reminding me, I mean. Can you follow me? She changes direction, starts to walk toward the music area where a D.J. has a record player set up. CLARK I'm trying to. He follows her. As they reach the TEENAGE D.J.: LANA I just have to give these to the -- Smiling at CLARK, she doesn't realize she setting the paper plates, not records, down by the D.J.'s set-up. The D.J. is about to protest, but LANA has already turned away and walks briskly to the nearby buffet table again. CLARK I heard you and Donald split up. LANA seems not to hear him as she sets the stack of records down on the buffet table. LANA Did you eat yet? She grabs a record off the top of the stack, scoops up a ladleful of potato salad, sees suddenly that she's just about to dump it on a record. LANA (shaking her head) That's not right. (to Clark) Yes, you're right about me and Donald but -- hold it a sec, okay? She hands the full scoop of potato salad to CLARK, picks up the stack of records and takes them over to the D.J. HOLD ON CLARK, holding a scoop of potato salad, feeling foolish. At this precise moment, TWO of the more successful-looking ALUMNI drift by with their WIVES. FIRST MAN Hey, Kent. SECOND MAN How ya' doin'? CLARK is about to shake hands. At the last moment he has to transfer the scoop of potato salad awkwardly to his left hand. The COUPLES drift off, smiling, CLARK watching them as the FIRST MAN murmurs to the SECOND MAN: FIRST MAN Some guys never change... VERTICAL PAN UP TO a blown-up black and white high school photo of serious, somewhat awkward-looking teenage CLARK KENT. CAMERA PANS ACROSS WALL OF DECORATIONS, COMING TO A STOP ON A BIG PHOTO BLOW-UP of a handsome young blonde football player. It is captioned Brad Wilson -- All State 1964. In the picture he holds the ball, arm cocked back to pass for a touchdown. He looks like a young, blonde Greek god. As we SEE this, we hear, off screen: BRAD (o.s.) (noticeably drunken voice) The game against Mid-City, that's the one I'll never forget. Fourth quarter, score was tied, and we're backed up on our own 25-yard line. The Coach sends in a play -- Right Flanker Option. But I knew I could throw a long one. See, I knew that their cornerback was hurtin' and... In the middle of the above, PAN DOWN FROM PHOTO to reveal the MAN who is bragging about his past exploits. Quite a shocking change from the photo. Hair thinning, surly, and possessing the bloated looks of a thirtyish ex-athlete going to pot, this is BRAD WILSON. He's talking to TWO CLASSMATES. Suddenly, he stops and his face lights up as LANA passes nearby. FOLLOW HIM as he hurries, just a little unsteadily, to her side. As: Music: D.J. puts on a record of "Earth Angel." We hear the tune but not the lyric. BRAD Here I am, honey, and I'm all yours. (with boozy, over- bearing "gallantry") Remember when you were Queen of the Prom? All the guys had to wait in line to get a dance. (they have reached the buffet table where Clark waits) But now there's only one name on your dance card, sweet thing, and it's -- CLARK (recognizing him) Brad Wilson. BRAD Hiya, Kent, long time no see. Not that you ever could. (points to CLARK'S glasses) "See" I mean, (he cracks up at his dumb joke) Hahaha! BRAD grabs LANA'S arm. She pulls away, simultaneously slipping her other arm through CLARK'S. LANA I can't (quickly) Clark already asked me. (to CLARK) Didn't you? (to BRAD, improvising) He used to love this song. (to CLARK) Didn't you? (to BRAD) So he just said -- (to CLARK, a bit desperately) "Would you dance with me?" CLARK Sure, Lana, I'd love to. As they glide away onto he dance floor, LANA close to CLARK, BRAD scowls, jealous and pissed-off. WATCH THEM dance for a few moments. There's chemistry there, just beginning to assert itself. INT. CHECK MACHINE UNDER A SIGN THAT SAYS "WEBCO, PAYROLL DEPT." a big check printing machine, activated by computer, is spewing forth its payload" check after check comes out of a slot and the stack grows higher. INT. DATA PROCESSING COMPUTER ROOM As before, the MAN with the cart is handing out the paychecks. MAN Gorman. Another week, another check. (gives him his envelope) GUS You got another one there for me? MAN (laughing) What?? GUS I put in a voucher for expenses. Thought it might have come through. The MAN looks and is surprised to find, indeed, another envelope with GUS'S name. MAN Oh yeah. Here you go. CLOSE ON GUS -- He holds the envelope in his hand, trying not to show his excitement. But you can practically hear his heart pounding. Now, almost afraid to look, he slowly edges the check out of its envelope. He closes both eyes. Now he opens one eye and peeks. INSERT -- On the "Expenses" check emerging from the envelope. First we SEE the name: AUGUST GORMAN. And then...the amount: $85,789.80! GUS (o.s.) (quietly) Pennies from heaven. INT. SMALLVILLE HIGH SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT TIGHT C.U. LANA -- Looking RIGHT LANA (voice echoing slightly) Thanks for helping me out. TIGHT C.U. CLARK -- Looking LEFT CLARK (voice echoing slightly) Are you kidding? There must be a lot of guys who'd like to be in my place. EXTREME LONG SHOT -- CLARK and LANA are no longer dancing. The party's over and they are standing on top of the two tall ladders at opposite ends of the now deserted gym. A space at least as large as a basketball court is between them, explaining the hollow rings in their voices. They talk in conversational tones, but louder than normally. They are engaged in taking down the decorations after the reunion; the party's over. Crepe paper, banners. photos, etc. are coming down and being stacked or discarded. The full bright gym lights are on now; no ambiance any more. Between them is the platform that served as the bandstand earlier; the electric piano and some of the loudspeakers are still there. The feeling is one of 'after the ball.' (Note: throughout the following, LANA uses her various tools...claw hammer, staple extractor, etc....with marked skill and dexterity). LANA (wryly) You'd be surprised how many offers I didn't get. Even Brad wouldn't stick around for this. (as she tries to untack a long crepe paper streamer) It really isn't easy. CLARK (thinking she means the task at hand) The streamers? They're no problem, you just pull on them and -- He does so on a streamer near his ladder. It cascades to the floor in a great colorful heap. FAVORING LANA LANA Not the streamers. Everything. Not that I'm complaining. It's just that -- I don't know why but I feel like I can talk to you. CLARK (some distance away) What? LANA (louder) I feel like I can talk to you! FAVORING CLARK -- who looks pleased CLARK Well, I always wished you would. Back when you were -- (he hesitates) ON LANA -- as she reaches up and takes down a big, captioned photo of a teenaged LANA and a YOUNG MAN (DONALD) dressed as King and Queen of the Senior Prom. DONALD is grinning proudly at the camera while LANA gazes adoringly at him. LANA (finishing CLARK'S sentence) Queen of the Prom? With that she drops the picture from the top of the ladder. It falls with a thud to the gym floor. LANA And three years after the Royal Wedding, the King abdicated. (climbing down the ladder now, suddenly looking away from CLARK) Isn't that terrible? CLARK (compassionately, as he too, climbs down his ladder) It sure is. LANA (but she meant something else, as she points to buffet table:) There must be a gallon of potato salad left over. She walks over to the bowl, peers into it, finally turns back to CLARK who has joined her there. LANA You know what's the problem? CLARK (tentatively) Too much mayonnaise? LANA Mayonnaise? Donald loved mayonnaise. Why would you think that was the problem.? CLARK (very confused) I didn't -- LANA No, the problem is -- (heatedly) Why do I stay in Smallville? Believe me, I've asked myself the same question. Do you know how lucky you are to live in Metropolis? (eyes shining) The Big Apricot. CLARK But Lana, you could -- ON LANA LANA (wistfully) That's easy to say. But how? And what about Ricky? CLARK (completely at sea) Who? LANA Ricky. My little boy. At least here we've got a house. and I've got a job. Okay, I'm only a secretary, oaky, but it pays the bills. Except for last winter when the fuel bills kept going up and up and up. (extendes her hand, eyes her bare ring finger) I even had to pawn my diamond ring then. ON CLARK -- Distressed for her. CLARK Gee... LANA (o.s.) (resignedly) I guess there's nothing I can do about that. TWO SHOT -- But CLARK realizes that now she's talking about something else, as she points upward. ANGLE UP -- There at the top of the gym roof, a cluster of balloons stick to the ceiling. LANA (a little shrug) Well, we can't fly up there and get them. QUICK C. U. CLARK -- A fleeting, private smile. NEW ANGLE -- As CLARK starts to gather up the fallen streamers from the floor. LANA glances over at him. LANA (tentatively) You...um...you never got married? CLARK Oh...I came close once. As LANA starts to stack stuff in the corner of the gym, CLARK idly turns to the piano, strikes a chord. Then: CLARK (singing quietly, his favorite oldie) "Earth Angel, Earth Angel, Please be mine... ON LANA -- She stops and turns, looks at him fondly, smiling. LANA That song. I remember one day I came into the music room and you were fooling around at the piano. And I thought -- what am I going to do with all this potato salad? CLARK (confused) You thought that? LANA (going back to square one) I thought "Clark Kent has a really nice voice." You didn't even know I was there. ON CLARK -- He stops singing, almost blushing. ON LANA -- She hasn't noticed. She is standing looking at a photo that has not yet been taken down from the wall -- that smiling and serious young face of CLARK KENT. LANA (quietly) You know, years later you can look at someone and think, well, I guess that's the one, that's the one that got away. C.U. CLARK -- That really got to him. INT. ROSS WEBSTER'S OFFICE - DAY ON ROSS WEBSTER in a spectacularly lush office, filled with amazing gadgets and décor. This is our first meeting with the man himself and we quickly see his style is that calculatedly gruff "democratic" jolly camaraderie reminiscent of Nelson Rockefeller. in other words, this is a guy who insists on having his servants call him by his first name, but that doesn't mean he would ever invite one to sit at his table. At this moment in time, the Humanitarian of the Year is clearly upset about something. ROSS Give it to me again, fella. Just run it by me one more time. REVERSE, WIDE ANGLE -- Standing on the other side of the massive desk is an elderly man in a dark business suit who looks extremely ill-at-ease. This is the Chief Accountant of Webco. MR. SIMPSON. SIMPSON (extremely nervous) 85,000 dollars. ROSS Missing???? SIMPSON Embezzled, Mr. Webster. (he can barely say it) Stolen from the firm. From off-screen, a strident voice that could curdle milk rings out; it is the voice of VERA WEBSTER, the sister. VERA (o.s.) By whom? BOTH MEN turn sharply in the direction of the voice. PAN TO a door that connects to an anteroom. Dressed in a suit that somehow reminds us of Joseph Stalin, VERA, in a foul mood, enters. VERA That's what I want to know! By whom? Whom???? ROSS Get a hold of yourself, Vera. (under his breath) Nobody else ever will. SIMPSON I don't know who. Whom. I can't trace it. (years of bitterness coming out) In the old days it was simple. We kept books, we had ledgers, we could see what was going in and what was paid out. If somebody wanted to rob you, he'd come in with a gun and say 'stick 'em up." (frustrated) Now they get theses blasted computers to do their dirty work! ROSS My friend, you are yesterday. Whoever pulled this caper is tomorrow. Suddenly, the door flies open and LORELEI bursts in, all a-twitter. LORELEI Ross, honey, it's time for your massage... VERA (furious) Bubba, does this woman have the right to burst in without knocking...! VERA is seething with animosity: LORELEI looks at her with undisguised loathing. ROSS (ill-at-ease) Now, Vera...uh, Simpson, you know my Staff Dietician? SIMPSON Hello. VERA (to LORELEI) If you don't mind, we are trying to hold a meeting here! LORELEI Why don't you hold your breath, instead? Maybe you'll turn blue. On you that'd be an improvement. Steely-eyed, VERA advances on her with controlled fury. VERA Pay attention, people: I am about to take a human life. ROSS quickly intervenes, upset at this turn of events. he keeps the TOW WOMAN apart and: ROSS (big, fake smile to SIMPSON) Old pal, would you just step outside for a sec? SIMPSON departs; the TWO WOMEN explode in anger, simultaneously: VERA LORELEI Bubba, I will not let Ross, tell her to stop this woman insult me... picking on me or I'll... ROSS (commandingly, in stentorian tones) Mouths ...closed! Ears...open! (cowed, scared, the WOMEN shut up) Now the last thing any of us wants is for me to be upset. Right? Right! and it upsets me very much when my favorite sister an my favorite Aerobic Instructor don't get along. (Continued) ROSS (cont.) (sternly, shaking his finger at them) Now I don't want to ever see this sort of thing again or... well,... (threateningly) I can't have anyone with me who isn't with me. (reluctant murmurs of assent from the WOMEN) Now...kiss and make up. Surely, LORELEI pursers her lips. VERA I don't kiss. ROSS (remembering) Oh, right. Well then, just shake hands. The TWO ENEMIES shake hands. INSERT -- The hands grip and squeeze each other, knuckles turning white. TWO SHOT -- In spite of the struggle and pain, VERA and LORELEI smile teeth- baring smiles for ROSS'S benefit. ROSS (pleased to see they're cooperating) That's my best gals. (calls out) Come back in, my boy. A split-second later the sweating, elderly SIMPSON is back in the room. ROSS Well, chum? What now? Kiss the 85 thou goodbye? Pay some thief's salary while he thinks up new ways to shake the money tree? SIMPSON (helpfully) He's bound to slip up sooner or later. VERA Why? SIMPSON Uh...I don't know...that's what they always say in the movies. ROSS paces, building up steam. A slow burn heating up. ROSS Unless the man's a complete idiot, he won't slip up at all. He'll just go on quietly taking the bread from our mouths. unless he's a total ignoramus, he'll keep a low profile and won't do a thing to call attention to himself. (voice rising) Unless he is an utter moron... Suddenly: Sound: A loud sports car motor revs up outside the window. It sounds like the last lap at Sebring. FULL SHOT -- ROSS, VERA, LORELEI, and SIMPSON, startled at the sudden noise, go to the window to look out and see what it is. POV: OUT THE WINDOW -- The company parking lot. Zooming down one of the lanes, then executing a hairpin turn, burning rubber and pulling into a parking space is an incredible bright red Ferrari...the flashiest of sports car you could imagine;. Behind the wheel still dressed in his shabby, schleppy clothes, is GUS GORMAN. EXT. SMALLVILLE BOWLING ALEY - DAY A neon sign proclaims "SMALLVILLE LANES" and a lettered sign announces "Family Rates." INT. BOWLING ALLEY - DAY FULL SHOT -- A six-lane bowling alley. BOWLERS playing. On the far side, in B.G., a bar. CLOSER ON ONE LANE -- A bunch of KIDS are choosing up teams, three to a side. There seems to be some argument going on between the TWO TEAM CAPTAINS about ONE BOY who stands a bit apart, looking forlorn and uncomfortable. He' smaller than the others, like the runt in a litter, and there's a certain timorousness about him. He has his mother's red hair: this is LANA'S son, RICKY. One of the team CAPTAINS is looking annoyed as he points at RICKY. FIRST BOY (to his OPPONENT) That means we gotta take Ricky. SECOND BOY Too bad, you lost the toss. FIRST BOY If we gotta have Ricky on our side, then we get a two strike handicap. REVERSE, WIDE: Seated around the scoreboard table are a number of parents, as well as LANA and CLARK. LANA (distressed) I just can't stand this. CLARK (trying to be positive) Hey, he'll be all right. Believe me Lana, I know. I was a late bloomer myself. LANA It isn't only that he's small for his age. how would you like to be the only kid in town without a father? (as she looks in another direction) Look at him, he's stewed to the gills in the middle of the afternoon. CLARK (still looking at RICKY) But all he had was chocolate milk. LANA I mean him. She points, and CAMERA FOLLOWS HER GESTURE TO REVEAL BRAD, tipsy, making his way toward them from the bar, a bottle of beer in his hand. BRAD Hiya, sweet thing. (indicating RICKY) Little guy's getting' hassled, huh? (to CLARK, curtly) Kent, you still here? CLARK I seem to be. BRAD (to LANA) All the kid needs is a couple of pointers from the ol' champ here. (he means himself) Kent, I bet you didn't know I won the all-country bowling trophy two years in a row. CLARK Uh, no, I didn't know that, Brad. BRAD A natural athlete can play any sport. Any sport. And with that, he turns and heads right for RICKY. TWO SHOT -- CLARK and LANA LANA Oh, no. This'll only make it worse. NEW ANGLE -- RICKY, first to bowl, lifts a ball from the rack. The ball is really too heavy for him to handle well, but he gamely takes his position at the line and, a bit clumsily, bowls a wobbly ball. ON THE BALL -- it pretty much runs out of steam by the time it gets to the pins, but manages to knock down a few. ON RICKY -- looking disappointed. FIRST BOY See? What'd I tell ya? As RICKY goes to get the ball coming back on the rack for his second go, BRAD lurches over to him, putting on a big helpful show for LANA'S benefit. BRAD Hey, sport, you're holdin' it all wrong. Lemme show you -- He leans to RICKY as he talks; RICKY recoils from the gust of whiskey breath. As BRAD tries to wrest the ball from the embarrassed boy -- BRAD Let ol' Uncle Brad show you how it's done. CLARK (sternly) Say, Brad. I think he'll be better off doing it his way. BRAD (amazed at the effrontery) For a guy who was lucky to be water-boy on the high school team, you sure got a big mouth, Kent. CLARK moves closer to him to speak in confidence: MOVE IN TO VERY TIGHT TWO SHOT. CLARK (sotto voice) I just think Ricky would rather not get a bowling lesson in front of the other kids. BRAD The kid needs a man to show him -- CLARK The kid will do fine on his own. (to RICKY) Give it your best shot, Ricky! As RICKY walks to his position behind the line: ON CLARK -- who seemingly "accidentally" trips over the chalk container, knocking it over. The hunk of chalk breaks and chalk dust rises in the air where CLARK tries to pick it up. BRAD (derisively) Clark Klutz. Same as ever. ON RICKY -- holding the heavy ball, he advances to the line. C.U. LANA -- eyes averted. C.U. CLARK -- chalk dust on his face, his nose starts to twitch like a man about to sneeze. ON RICKY -- he bowls the ball, rather weekly. C.U. CLARK -- who points his face at the line and lets out a Super-Sneeze. EFFECTS: The Super-Sneeze causes the ball to whiz down the alley at Super-Speed. It hits the pins with such impact that they break into a hundred pieces like so many china cups. C.U. RICKY -- astonished. And then joyfully delighted. C.U. BRAD -- his jaw drops. LANA (to CLARK) Gezundheit! INT. WEBCO DATA PROCESSING CENTER - DAY GUS seated at his computer, at work. His neighbor FRED comes walking down the aisle, looking serious. FRED Gus? GUS Say what? FRED The boss wants to see you. GUS Say who? Feet churning rapidly, GUS propels his rolling chair toward the exit. EXT. LOBBY, GLASS ELEVATOR - DAY LONG SHOT -- the glass elevator begins its ascent tot he highest level of management, the office of ROSS WEBSTER himself. Inside, little GUS GORMAN shakes and quakes in full view of everybody in the lobby and at each level. INT. GLASS ELEVATOR - DAY GUS (abject terror) Oh my God! The Boss! Ross the Boss! The Ross! At which point the elevator reaches another level. Seeing a MAN staring right at him, GUS manages a sickly smile, which vanishes the instant he rises out of the MAN'S sight. INT. OUTER OFFICE OF ROSS WEBSTER - DAY GUS steps out of the elevator, nervously working his yo-yo (an upgraded model now that he's come into some money; this is a plastic one) and stands, almost trembling before the desk of a snooty SECRETARY. A gold plaque on her desk reads: ROSS WEBSTER CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD SECRETARY Mr. Gorman? GUS (talking fast, in pure fear) No! He died last week. I just look something like him. People always make this mistake. SECRETARY Mr. Webster is waiting to see you. GUS He alone? Or is there, like uh... men in uniform...or, uh...plain clothes. SECRETARY Please go in, Mr. Gorman. GUS (imitating his idea of a white executive- type) Say, dear, where's the wash room located? I'd like to freshen up a bit before... ROSS'S voice barks out over the intercom on her desk: ROSS (o.s.) (intercom) Is he here yet, Miss Collins? SECRETARY (pushing intercom button) Yes sir, I'm sending him in. Fingering hi yo-yo like it was a rosary, GUS enters. INT. ROSS WEBSTER'S OFFICE - DAY FULL SHOT -- a wall of bookcases, massively out-sized chess set and various gadgets. Seated behind a massive desk, ROSS looks up. ROSS Mr. August Gorman? ON GUS -- instantly abject, pleading pitifully. GUS Please, Mr. Webster, you're a great humanitarian. Ain't you heard what it's like in them jails? You send an innocent boy in and he gets thrown in with killers and robbers and rapers and raper killer and robber rapers and... ROSS Mr. Gorman, just answer me one question... GUS braces himself for the worst. ROSS You've been a naughty boy haven't you? (congenial laugh) C'mon now, admit it, you were kinda naughty. GUS (a but surprises at his tone) Uh...yeah. I didn't think of it that way exactly, but... ROSS rises, walks up to the bookshelf and pushes the spine of one volume. Suddenly the entire section of shelving revolves, revealing a complete wet bar on the other side. As he does this business, he keeps speaking: ROSS Say, fella, I understand. I can -- what do the kids say these days -- "dig where you're comin' from." (a chuckle) You want to be rich, right? GUS Uh... ROSS Now me, I was born rich. I've never worn the same pair of socks twice. GUS (impressed) Yeah? What do you do with 'em? ROSS has by now poured himself a drink and one for GUS. ROSS I believe they're laundered and sent to some charitable institution. I don't know what the heck they do with 'em. Maybe they use them for dust rags, or pen wipers... GUS Or socks. ROSS Yes! That never occurred to me. (hands him his drink) Her ya go, buddy, single-malt. (GUS downs it chug- a-lug) Gus, my friend, you're a genius. Okay, a naughty genius, but hell, nobody's perfect. GUS 'Cause I know about getting' them half-centses? ROSS begins to stride about the office as he pontificates, turning away from GUS, speaking "to the world." As he does, GUS, feeling more at ease, walks to the bar. ROSS Because computers run the world today, pal. And the fella who can fool the computers will run the world himself! GUS leans against the bar. It instantly revolves, taking him with it, and becomes a wall of bookcase again. GUS is now trapped behind it somewhere inside the wall. ROSS, who hasn't noticed since his back is to the bar, just keeps on talking as if GUS were still there. ROSS I've been searching for a long time for somebody who can make these machines do things they're not supposed to do. Do you catch my drift, brother? From inside the wall, GUS calls for help; his voice is so muffles, that ROSS just takes it for a grunt of assent. ROSS I knew you would. And best of all, you seem to be able to do it in such a way that the deed goes undetected. At last the bookcase spins around and a shaken GUS steps back in the room, just as ROSS turns. He never noticed his absence. By the time GUS has regained his balance, ROSS is already on his way out of the room so that GUS has to rush to catch up with him. As ROSS heads for an adjoining room: ROSS Gus, Webco, the Webster industrial complex, is a family-owned cartel. A little magnesium here, a little zinc there. Some railroads here, some farm machinery there. You follow? GUS (a little out of breath) I'm tryin' to. ROSS stops in the doorway. ROSS (intensely) Gus, do you know what I want now? I want coffee! GUS (instantly turning to get it) Black or regular? ROSS I don't think you understand. INT. ROOFTOP ATRIUM - DAY ROSS and GUSS step into an enormous rooftop botanical garden, about as big as a football field, filled with a great profusion of trees, plants, flowers, and bushes. GUS (wide-eyed wonder) Man, what is this? ROSS Plants. Plants always make an office cozier. ROSS waves at a GARDNER pruning some bushes. ROSS Hiya, fella, how's it goin'? (to GUS) Helluva nice guy, been with me for years. As they stroll, ROSS stops to admire a shrub, or inspect a flower bed, but keeps right on talking. ROSS Under different company names. I control the price of coffee beans in Brazil. The price in Venezuela. Java, South Korea, North Korea, the Aleutian Islands, Guam, Bolivia, and the Republic of Gabon! GUS Decaffeinated too? As they continue walking, ROSS throws an avuncular, democratic arm around GUS'S shoulders. ROSS But y'see, chum, the problem I got is that one country just won't play ball with me. (as if GUS could empathize) You know how that can just bug a guy, don't you? GUS Which country? ROSS (his expression darkens) Columbia. GUS Columbia. ROSS Columbia's got two major exports and one of them's coffee. (Continued) ROSS (cont.) (put-upon) Oh, I tried to reason with them. Believe me, I tried! But this one miserable piss- ant little country has the gall to think they can dictate the economy of an open market! ("reasonably") Gus, dear Gus, don't you see what I mean? We have to teach them a lesson. (icy) Wipe 'em out!!! GUS (startled) Wipe 'em out? ROSS Destroy the entire Colombian coffee crop down to the last bean. He stops by a shrub, looks down at the soil around it. He frowns, then calls out to the GARDNER. ROSS Yo! Over here. The GARDNER runs over to him. ROSS (suddenly terse, curt) What's this I see? Fallen leaves not picked up? Organic litter? GARDNER Sorry, sir, I was going to do it late-- Without a word, ROSS slaps the MAN sharply across the face. Then, his friendly grin appearing again, he puts his arm around GUS and they continue walking as if nothing unusual has happened (though, a nervous GUS keeps looking back at the GARDNER). ROSS So, fella? You see the problem? GUS (tentatively) But Mr. Webster...you're doin' okay with Brazil and them other places. What's wrong with just one little old country doin' their own thing? ROSS A very wise man once said...I think it was Attila the Hun... "It's not enough that I succeed. Everyone else must fail." (he snaps a rose in half; GUS jumps) And you are going to do it for me. GUS (scared) Me? How? Their tour of the atrium has brought them back to where they started from, the connecting door tot he office. The voice of VERA, o.s., announces her presence there. VERA (o.s.) The weather! INT. ROSS'S OFFICE - DAY As ROSS and GUS come back into the office, GUS catches his first glimpse of VERA, looking forbidding. ON GUS -- he instantly shrinks back from this creature. GUS (to ROSS) Hey listen, I didn't know your mama was comin' by... VERA (furious) Sister! I'm his sister! ROSS (to GUS) Gus, tell me, have you ever heard of Vulcan? GUS (to VERA) That what they call you? VERA (through her teeth) Vulcan is the weather satellite our government put up in orbit to monitor the weather. ROSS (eagerly) But if somebody re-programmed it, it could do much more. VERA It could make weather! ROSS Storms! Floods! VERA Blizzards! Heat waves! GUS How do you do that? ROSS Like everything else in the 20th century, Gus. You push buttons. INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY INSERT: a finger is pushing a button. It's JIMMY OLSEN taking a picture as he says: JIMMY Smile! FULL SHOT -- The subjects of JIMMY'S photo are smiling so hard their cheeks might burst. They are MR. and MRS. MAURY STOKIS, the winners of the JINGO contest. Clad in resort outfits, they are standing beneath a poster emblazoned "JINGO WINNERS!" MR. STOKIS I can't believe it! It's the first time I ever won anything! MRS. STOKIS (kittenish) You won my hand, Maury. MR. STOKIS Yeah, sure, but this is the first time I ever won anything valuable! NEW ANGLE -- revealing JIMMY, who has his leg in a cast. He hobbles about his equipment, clearly not thrilled with his assignment. Standing nearby are MISS HENDERSON, looking delighted, and PERRY WHITE. looking like he'd give anything to escape. MISS HENDERSON Let's get one with the sombreros, Olsen. She pops the outsized sombreros on the heads of the happy couple. They instantly strike a Latin pose and grin steadily at the camera. MISS HENDERSON (an inspiration) Mr. White, you be in this shot, handing them their plane tickets. PERRY (miserable) Why do I have to do this? JIMMY (miserable) Why do I have to do this? PERRY You! You're lucky I didn't fire you. I get a chance at exclusive on-the-spot pictures of the biggest forest fire in history and what does he come back with??? A broken leg and twelve melted rolls of film. JIMMY It was hot! MISS HENDERSON Smile, Mr. White. MR. STOKIS South America! I can't believe my luck! They freeze in the pose as the flashbulb goes off. INT. ROSS WEBSTER'S OFFICE - DAY GUS, ROSS, and VERA as we left them. ROSS Computers talk to other computers, right? VERA Somehow your twisted little mind should be able to figure out how to tap into the main computer at the Aerospace Center and reach Vulcan. GUS (immediately) Through the telephone line terminal, that ain't nothin'. VERA (excited) Oh Bubba, think of the possibilities. GUS What she call you? ROSS Bubba. (GUS ties not to snicker) When she was three years old she couldn't pronounce the word 'brother' and it came out 'Bubba.' (grimly) It was the last cute thing she ever did. Without knocking, as usual, LORELEI bursts into the office. LORELEI Did I hear somebody say "cute thing?" GUS is stupefied at the sight of her. VERA (annoyed) She's not his mama either. ROSS Gus Gorman, this is my Psychic Nutritionist. LORELEI You're cute too. GUS I'm cool. I ain't cute. it ain't cool to be cute. GUS sits down by the oversized chess set. Unthinkingly, he reaches out and moves one of the black pieces. immediately three of the white pieces begin to shift squares automatically realigning themselves in a new defense by some electronic gadgetry. Startled, GUS backs away. NEW ANGLE -- As ROSS stares at GUS'S reaction, behind him LORELEI has happily plunked herself in his chair behind the desk. The right hand top drawer is open and she reaches in to take a Kleenex when VERA, seeing her opportunity , comes by swiftly and slams the drawer closed with her knee, smashing LORELEI'S fingers. The later lets out a shriek and pulls her hand, waving her fingers wildly. ROSS turns to see what's the matter. VERA She's drying her nails. LORELEI smile through her pain, keeps shaking her hand in the air. ROSS (quickly) Always making yourself beautiful for me, aren't you? (turns back to GUS) So, Gus, can you make Vulcan do what I want it to? You didn't answer me, pal. (as GUS hesitates) Did you hear about that prison riot last week? It seems they were complaining about rats in the cells... GUS (quickly) Yeah, yeah, I can do it. ROSS When? GUS First question got to be "Where." ROSS What? GUS Not "What." Don't need a genius to figure out "what." Need a genius to figure out "where." (A bit boastfully to VERA) He says I'm a genius, your don -- (quickly) Brother! Bubba! Your Bubba! (as she calms down) See, if y'all don't want them to trace it back, you got to punch this in from someplace nobody'd ever think off. Some little rinky- dink operation with a little mickey- mouse computer. ROSS It's got to be someplace you can sneak into. VERA Someplace where nobody knows him so they can't connect him with us. ROSS Well, Webco has a hundred and twelve subsidiaries and every one of them is tied to our central computer system. How about...hmmmm, someplace small... EXT. CORNER GROCERY STORE, SMALLVILLE - DAY TIGHT ON THE WORD "Smallville" painted on a sign. PUL BACK AND WIDEN TO SEE THE ENTIRE SIGN: "Smallville Groceries." WIDE SHOT -- The main shopping area of Smallville. In B.G. LANA is just coming out of the grocery store, carrying a bag of picnic supplies. In F.G. RIGHT, CLARK sits in the front seat of her 5-year \-old Chevy. RICKY is in back, playing with his very frisky puppy, BUSTER. In F.G. LEFT a Greyhound Bus is discharging some PASSENGERS, many carrying suitcases. CLOSER ON THE CAR -- as CLARK sees LANA struggling with the door to the store and hefting her bag of supplies. CLARK I'll give your mom a hand. NEW ANGLE -- he flings open the car door and it slams hard against the knee of a MAN who just got off the bus. The GUY howls with pain. CLARK (abashed) Oh, I'm sorry. As the MAN limps off, muttering, we realize it's GUS GORMAN, wearing his same old beat-up windbreaker and slacks, but now carrying a Vuitton valise. FOLLOW GUS, as he walks across some railroad tracks that run through the center of town, looking around at his surroundings. GUS (bitching, aloud) Welcome to nowhere, U.S.A. In B.G. LANA and CLARK get in the car and drive off. HOLD ON GUS. FOLLOW HIM as he sets off down Main Street, passing a Sears type store, glancing up at the window display. A mannequin-like giant Ken doll in a green and white polyester leisure suit is grinning down at him. GUS shudders from the bottom of his soul. HOLD CAMAERA STAIONARY as SEEN FROM BEHIND, shoulders bowed, he trudges down Main Street and off into the distance. EXT. COUNTY CLEAING - DAY EXTREME LONG SHOT -- In a clearing on the edge of acres of waving wheat, CLARK and LANA and RICKY and BUSTER the puppy are ensconced between her car, which is parked on the side of the road, and a picket fence that marks the boundary of a farm. CLOSER -- On their picnic blanket LANA is proudly setting out a lot of small plastic containers of homemade goodies as CLARK sprinkles salt on a celery stalk. CLARK (happily) Gee, I haven't done this in years. LANA Some people don't think it's healthy. CLARK (earnestly nodding) Well, it's true you have to be careful things don't spoil, especially with mayonnaise or cream. LANA Clark, I think you worry too much about mayonnaise. CLARK Me?? LANA I'm talking about salt. (as he hesitates uncertainly) Oh, go ahead, pour it on, relax. That's what picnics are for. NEW ANGLE -- including RICKY, who is pulling a ball out of his pocket while BUSTER waits, wagging his tail, beside him. RICKY Don't they have picnics in Metropolis, Mr. Kent? CLARK Well... (looking around at the open fields, clean air, blue sky) Not quite like this. RICKY Mom and I do this all the time. And he goes racing off with BUSTER, OUT OF FRAME. LANA (to CLARK) It's nice for Ricky. CLARK settles in next to her, beginning to open plastic containers. LANA (enjoying the proximity) And even nicer when there's a man around, Which isn't all that often. CLARK (re the plastic containers) There's a lot of choices here. LANA No, all the good ones are married. That's why Brad thinks he's God's gift to women. This woman anyway. He's single. He won't take no for an answer, but he's the only one who's asking. And he knows it. CLARK (trying to straighten out the conversation) I meant all the choices here. All this -- (lifting lids) -- cole slaw, guacamole -- (more and more impressed as he opens for containers) This is some picnic! CAMERA PANS AWAY FROM CLARK, LOSING HIM FROM THE SHOT, AND MOVES TO LANA JUST AS RICKY RUNS TO HER. LANA is still beaming from CLARK'S praise, as: CLARK Hey mom, how about me? LANA finds -- in the middle of this feast -- a lone, wax paper wrapped sandwich and hands it to RICKY with a mock sigh. As he takes off again: TWO SHOT -- LANA turns back to CLARK. Holding a fork and a plastic container, he has just sampled something he's not quite sure about. LANA Peanut butter and jelly. CLARK No, thanks. LANA No, I mean Ricky. He's not interested in any of this stuff. CLARK Well, this pate is rather...unusual. LANA Pate? What pate? (leaning over -- very close to him now -- to peer into the container) I didn't make any -- (horrified pause; then) Oh, no, Clark. That's Buster's dog food. CLARK looks at the container, looks at his fork, looks at LANA. The look on his face is just too much for her. She starts to laugh. Then he starts to laugh. They stop -- and then start again. She collapses against him, weak with laughter. And even when their mirth subsides, they don't move apart. LANA Gee, I haven't laughed like that since -- since -- (she suddenly realizes) I really can't remember when. CLARK Me neither... Their proximity suddenly makes them self-conscious. They move apart and try to lighten the moment, a bit awkwardly: LANA So...how much longer do you think you'll be in Smallville -- CLARK (his dialogue overlaps hers, starts a few beats back) You know, I was just thinking, Lana -- (the following line is in the clear) -- someone like you could do do really well in Metropolis -- They both stop, smile a bit shyly at each other. Sound: nearby, the steady, grinding motor of a giant thresher in the wheat fields. EXT. WHEAT FIELDS: LONG SHOT of the enormous thresher cutting through the wheat, its great blades and rollers turning. ON THE PICNIC: over the noise, LANA and CLARK are continuing their tete-a-tete. LANA I suppose I've got to face it -- I'm not going to find what I want in Smallville anymore, but -- Sound: the thresher gets closer and louder. LANA (impatiently) I can never get a way from it. CLARK (following her thought about Smallville; nodding understandingly) Old ties are hard to cut. LANA No. I mean, yes they are, but I was talking about that. (she cocks her head towards the insistent sound) Wheat King. Bet your bottom dollar that's a Wheat King thresher. (continued) LANA (thoughtfully) That's the biggest change in Smallville, you know. They've taken over this town. Everybody who isn't actually working for Wheat King -- like I do -- is out there -- (gesturing towards the fields) on a Wheat King thresher. (back to their conversation; she looks up at him eagerly) Do you think I could do it? Do you? CLARK (dubiously) Ride a thresher? Well, I don't know. Girls are trying just about everything now but -- LANA No, what you said before, Could I make it in Metropolis? I've dreamed about it, sure, but I never really thought about it. (uncertainly) What would I do when I got there? CLARK (smiling) Call me. LANA (quietly thrilled) Oh, I wouldn't want to -- I mean, I'd want to, but I wouldn't want to...be a nuisance to you. ON RICKY -- about twenty feet away, having his own good time, tussling happily with his PUPPY in the tall grass. TWO SHOT -- CLARK and LANA CLARK (quietly) Hey, you could never be a nuisance. She touches his knee gently. She moves toward him, closer. LANA (softly) Clark, may I tell you something? (as he waits, she looks away for a moment) My oil pan is leaking. He reacts with considerable confusion; it wasn't what he expected. LANA See? (she points under the car) POV: A small puddle under the CHEVY is getting larger, dark drops falling slowly but steadily into it as: LANA (o.s.) See? There's something dripping. NEW ANGLE -- As LANA gets up, in B.G. we SEE BUSTER the dog run off into the wheat. RICKY Hey, Buster! Darn it... come back, willya? But the DOG runs on and RICKY starts to chase him into the fields. HOLS ON LANA and CLARK. LANA The dog's always doing that. (wryly, pointing to the leaky Chevy) And the car's always doing that. CLARK Can I help? LANA opens the trunk, takes out a tool kit. LANA No thanks. With all the trouble this thing gives me, I started studying up on auto repair. She slides under the car and begins tapping the undercarriage with a wrench, listening carefully. ON CLARK -- watching her, smiling. Sound: the thresher grinds a way, coming and going, closer now and louder than LANA'S tapping. But CLARK suddenly hears something else. He sits up, frowns, cocks his head towards the wheat fields. EFFECTS: Shimmery light waves coming from his ear denote Super-Hearing in action. What he (and we) now HEARS: the plaintive insistent whining of BUSTER out in the fields. Troubled, he turns in that direction, scanning the area. POV: SPECIAL EFFECTS: X-Ray Vision sees through the thick golden wheat, searching till it finds the PUPPY sitting, whimpering, beside RICKY, who lays unconscious, completely hidden among rows of tall grain. ZOOM CLOSER TO RICKY -- chasing BUSTER, he has tripped and fallen, hitting his head on a jagged stone jutting out of the earth beside him. There is a cut on the side of his head and he doesn't move. Sound: suddenly the grinding, thrashing noise of the giant threshing machine seems very close. AERIAL SHOT: LOOKING DOWN, we SEE the big thresher heading for the plot of land where little RICKY lays unseen. EXT. WHEAT FIELD - DAY LOW ANGLE -- RICKY in F.G., the big thresher coming fast towards him from B.G. EXT. COUNTRY CLEARING - DAY CLARK glances over at LANA, but she, of course, has heard nothing unusual from underneath the car and goes on tinkering. CLARK Think I'll see if I can help Ricky. He gets up and moves casually but very quickly towards the picket fence. Sure that LANA is safely out of sight doing her work, he darts behind the fence. EFFECTS: As he runs behind the fence, CLARK KENT turns into SUPERMAN. The effect of the picket railings is like a strobe or time-lapse, i.e., as he passes behind each rail more and more of the SUPERMAN FIGURE begins to emerge from the CLARK FIGURE. By the time he has reached the end of the fence...it's SUPERMAN! He zooms into the sky. EXT. SKY - DAY ON SUPERMAN, looking down. HIS POV: the big thresher is getting closer, closer to the unconscious CHILD. FULL SHOT -- SUPERMAN swoops down. IN VARIOUS QUICK CUTS: 1. LOW ANGLE -- the thresher comes closer. The noise is deafening. 2. ON THE FRONT OF THE THRESHER -- we can clearly see how formidable the rolling blades are. They would chew the CHILD up in seconds. 3. Accelerating, SUPERMAN dives down, lands in front of the thresher and... 4. Reaches out with both hands and just grabs the churning blades, stopping it abruptly. 5. ON THE THRESHER DRIVER in his cab, startled to find himself coming to a sudden, jolting stop. 6. SUPERMAN scoops up the unconscious RICKY in his arms, flies up into the air with him. 7. RICKY comes to in mid-air, opens his eyes and is surprised to say the least. RICKY Superman??? SUPERMAN That's what they call me. 8. The thresher DRIVER, in his cab, mops his brow at the near miss. 9. SUPERMAN and RICKY coming towards the parked car. ON THE CAR -- LANA still underneath. RICKY (o.s.) Mom! Mom! LANA slides out from under, and is astonished at what she sees...SUPERMAN landing with her SON in his arms. LANA (dumbfounded) Ricky? Where...what... SUPERMAN (indicates the cut) I'd wash that out with some iodine... (RICKY winces) Okay, Mercurochrome. LANA (trying to recover the power of speech) Thank ...you. SUPERMAN Anytime. RICKY gazes at him in wonder. LANA Oh. I'm Lana Lang. This is Ricky. SUPERMAN We've already met. LANA And this is... (she looks around for CLARK) ...Clark. (to SUPERMAN) My friend is around here somewhere, I'll just look for... SUPERMAN (kindly) I'm sorry, I'm in a real hurry. (to RICKY) See you around, pal. With a smile and a wave, SUPERMAN takes off. Whoosh. And he's gone from sight. RICKY (still in a spell) We were flying!! Mom! In the sky! LANA (trying to make sense of all this) What were you doing anyway? RICKY I was looking for... (remembering, suddenly looks around, calling) Buster! Buster! Sound: Distant sound of yelping dog. ON THE WHEAT FIELD -- backing out, ass-first and on his hands and knees, from an open-ended length of big irrigation pipe comes a disheveled CLARK KENT, holding the PUPPY in his arms. He stands up with difficulty and raises the DOG high in the air for them to see in B.G. CLARK (calling) I found him! NEW ANGLE -- as LANA and RICKY run to CLARK RICKY Mr. Kent! Superman was here! CLARK (looking incredulous) What! LANA He really was! CLARK (calmly) Uh-huh. LANA Well, aren't you excited? CLARK Lana, I'm from Metropolis. I see Superman every day. EXT. WHEAT KING INDUSTRIAL PARK, MAIN OFFICES - NIGHT WIDE, ESTABLISHING SHOT of one of those typical, sprawling industrial parks located on the outskirts of communities all across America. The billboard in front shows a picture of a FARMER on a tractor and says: "WHEAT KING FARM MACHINERY A WEBCO COMPANY." CLOSER -- A remarkable sight: standing at the front door, ringing insistently on a button marked "Night Bell" is a totally transformed GUS GORMAN. He now is attired in the very green-and-white polyester suit that caused him to recoil at first sight. His look and persona are that of a typical midwestern salesman...fast-talking, hard-selling, and square. He carries a very large suitcase. INT. WHEAT KING BUILDING - NIGHT After a moment, we SEE BRAD, in nightwatchman outfit, stumbling down the corridor, already tipsy. He walks through a microphone gizmo embedded about halfway down the glass door. BRAD Yeah? What do you want? GUS Buddy, are we in trouble. BRAD (has no idea what in hell he's talking about) What? GUS (talking very fast, giving the befuddled BRAD no chance to interrupt) First the supplier couldn't find the invoice. Then the order came up short. Then I missed the four o'clock plane from Cleveland and had to rent a car, and then I got a darn flat tire on the highway! Can you beat it? Boy, your boss must've been furious when I didn't show up by the end of the day today, huh? ON BRAD -- in his befogged mind, he senses that something is wrong, but he has no idea what in hell it means. BRAD What are you talkin' about? GUS Good lord, fella! I'm talking about your boss. BRAD Mr. Roebush? GUS (seemingly frantic with worry) Roebush! That's the guy! Buddy, he's gonna nail our behinds to the wall! this is Special Order! He said he had to have it before... (a sudden realization) Omigod!! What's tomorrow? BRAD Tuesday. GUS TUESDAY! I got to get it all set up in his office tonight before all those big shots come here tomorrow for the meeting!! ON BRAD -- shaking his head, trying to clear it. BRAD Get all what set up? ON GUS -- with a wild smile and a glint in his eye like Robert Helpmann holding out The Red Shoes, he snaps open the lid of the valise. Four shelves, "accordioned" in tiers, spring forward: they contain bottles of every known liquor, whiskey, and spirit in the world, plus various bartending implements (shakers, stirrers, etc). As GUS grins like the terrible tempter: ON BRAD -- the expression on his face is a wonder to behold. The simple anticipatory greedy delight of a child on Christmas morning. A second later the glass doors slide open with an electronic whoosh. INT. WHEAT KING PLANT MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT Some time later. DUS and BRAD are seated at the boss's desk. An incredible array of liquor bottles in evidence, and all open, their contents sampled. A similar line-up of different size glasses, all used and empty. GUS in the style of a slick bartender. Both GUYS are blotto, BRAD a little more so. GUS pours the new concoction into a glass. BRAD samples it. BRAD S'not bad, s'very good, but... y'know what's wrong with this... Singapore...thing? GUS Sling. Singapore Sling. What's wrong? BRAD Not enough vodka in it. GUS There's no vodka in it. BRAD Aha! What'd I tell ya! GUS What? What did you tell me? BRAD considers this a while, then holds out his glass. BRAD Put vodka in it. GUS does so, liberally. BRAD takes a big swig. BRAD S'better. Taste it. GUS (sips) Got vodka in it now. Gotta give it a new name. Hey, listen, you thought it up, we'll name it after you. What's your name? BRAD Brad. GUS (considers it) Brad is not a good name for a cocktail. BRAD (an idea occurs) Hey! Y'know what they used to call me in high school? GUS Brad? BRAD No, no, on the football field. They called me... (drawing himself up with boozy pride) ...The Smallville Flash. GUS Hey, man, that's a great name for a cocktail! They clink glasses in celebration. GUS Here's to the Smallville Flash! BRAD chug-a-lugs his drink, draining the glass. GUS watches him in drunken amazement. GUS Man, you don't never pass out, do ya? BRAD Nope. (he closes his eyes) Never. (and he passes out) NEW ANGLE -- GUS prods him, sees he's out cold. Now the problem is trying to get on with his business in the highly inebriated state he's in. GUS Awright. Keys. He goes over to BRAD, removes the key ring from his belt, starts going through all the keys. INSERT: Each key is marked with a tag for its location. There are two plastic keys marked Computer - A and Computer - B. GUS (mumbling, puzzled) Two keys? Lessee about that... He starts out of the room, takes one look back...BRAD totally comatose now, has slumped down in his chair, half on the floor. GUS Huh. The Smallville Flash. INT. CORRIDOR. WHEAT KING OFFICES - NIGHT GUS makes his way, very drunkenly, down the corridors, weaving as he walks. FOLLOW HIM as he turns a corner, where an unexpected mirror causes him to jump back in horror, like W.C. Fields doing a take. It's the suit with him in it that makes him shiver and say: GUS Man, that is terrifyingly ugly... He enters a room above which is a sign: COMPUTER and beneath it another sign: SNACKS. INT. WHEAT KING VENDING MACHINE ROOM - NIGHT A row of coin-operated vending machines. GUS is just drunk enough to carefully check each one out to make sure. GUS (addressing the coffee machine) You ain't the computer, man. (goes to candy machine, examines it) You ain't neither. (the soft drink dispenser) Not even close. he continues along the wall with the careful gait of a man trying to remain upright, he stops before a doorway and opens it. A broom and a mop fall out. ANGLE IN -- it's a miniscule, five foot high broom closet, filled with cleaning utensils, buckets, etc. GUS (as the broom falls out) S'cuse me. He puts the stuff back, shuts the door, opens one remaining door. Inside a small room is the office of Xerox copier, an office supplies cabinet, and a small computer console. It's just as he asked for: A little rinky-dink computer operation. GUS There's that sucker! He enters. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT GUS sits down in front of the keyboard, shakes his head trying to sober up, looks down, remembers the key. INSERT: he laboriously inserts one of the plastic keys in its slot. ON GUS -- he starts to touch keyboard buttons. Nothing happens. GUS Hey, c'mon, man! (tries again, no success) Now a sign on the wall above the console catches his eye. He looks up at it. GUD POV: The vision, impaired by booze, is blurry at first. Then double-vision. Then it comes into focus. TWO KEYS REQUIRED TO OPERATE. KEY - A IN STATION #1 KEY - B IN STATION #2 BOTH KEYS MUST BE INSERTED AT THE SAME TIME Muttering his displeasure, GUS stands up, wobbly, and looks for Station # 2. he finds it on the other end of the console. As he starts to try and insert the second key, he remembers: GUS "At the same time." Oh. He holds one key, poised to enter its slot, and reaches around, stretching himself out, spreading his legs, trying to insert the second key in its slot. But the distance is too great for one man to do it. GUS Damn! Now what'll I do? CUT TO: INT. WHEAT KING PLANT MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT ON BRAD -- as we left him, passed out cold. GUS ENTERS FRAME, shakes BRAD, trying to rouse him. GUS Hey, brother! Hey, Flash! (shakes harder, but it's useless) Shee... Grasping BRAD beneath his arm pits, GUS starts to drag the massive bulk out of the office. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT GUS hauls BRAD into the computer room, shoves him in the general area of Station #2, then, with considerable trial and effort, attempts to put the second key in his hand and clench his fingers around it. The general idea is this... GUS must maneuver it so that both keys are inserted simultaneously. in order to do this, he must position BRAD...a passed-out BRAD...so that he falls forward at the proper angle to insert one of the keys as GUS inserts his. His first two tries meet with total failure; BRAD slumps to the floor and/or collapses backwards. Finally, GUS comes up with his own tipsy solution: to keep BRAD erect and correctly positioned, he uses hi yo-yo, ties one end on BRAD, goes back to STATION #1, holding his end of the string, then gently pulls BRAD forward at just the right angles so that his key and GUS'S key enter the computer together. As they do, the display screen lights up and spells out: HELLO GUS Now you wanna be friends, huh? He starts to type a program on the console. As he does: GUS (to himself) C'mon now, Gus, sober up. C.U. KEYBOARD -- as his fingers touch buttons. INT. VARIOUS COMPUTERS A SERIES OF SHOTS of different computers in different places turning and flashing and beeping, etc. Again, the intent is clear: GUS'S computer is contacting other computers. INT. OFFICE - DAY Some anonymous office. A computer is evidence. A bell rings. A video display screen lights up. "NEW INFORMATION: INCOMING" CAMERA ON REAR OF MACHINE: showing the wiring leading out. PAN ALONG CABLE TO: EXT. STREET. CURB OUTSIDE BANK - NIGHT FULL SHOT -- we are on a city street corner by an Instant Cash Machine on the side of a bank. A GUY, ordinary, dressed in jeans and a faded sweatshirt, walks up to the machine and takes a plastic bank card from his wallet. CLOSER ON HIM AND THE MACHINE -- he inserts it in the proper slot. The digital display flashes the usual instructions: 1. ENTER SECRET CODE (the GUY pushes his code) 2. SELECT MODE: DEPSOIT, WITHDRAWAL SAVINGS, CHECKING. (the GUY pushes the "Withdrawal" button) 3. AMOUNTS: $30, $50, $70, $100. The GUY pushes the $50 button and stands and waits. SOUND: the thunk that lets you know money has dropped into the cash drawer. ANGLE DOWN -- he opens the cash drawer. The packet of $50 in small bills is there. But as the GUY starts to reach for it: thunk. Another fifty bucks. Thunk. Another. And another and another and another and another... C.U. the GUY -- his eyes widen in astonishment. TIGHT ANGLE -- the money keeps dropping into the drawer. PAN UP-- the GUY stifles a yelp of joy, not wanting to call attention to himself. He stuffs money in every available packet as fast as he can, as the cash keeps dropping into the drawer. he smiles nonchalantly at passers by as he keeps filling up. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT GUS shakes his head, no, and pushes another key. ON THE VIDEO DISPLAY -- it reads. "CLEAR, NEW PROGRAM." ON GUS -- starts again. INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - DAY SHOTS of computers at work. INT. DEPARTMENT STORE BILLING OFFICE - DAY The lettering on the office door reads: MACY'S CUSTOMER BILLING DEPT. ON A COMPUTERIZED MACHINE dispensing bills to be mailed out to customers. CUT TO: INT. BREAKFAST NOOK - DAY A HUSBAND sits at the breakfast table, looking at the day's mail. His breakfast, including a half-grapefruit, in front of him. HIS WIFE, in housecoat, seated opposite. INSERT: He tears open the Macy's Envelope, pulls out the bill. It lists charges for $176,784.57. FULL SHOT -- without a word, he picks up the grapefruit and jams in into his wife's kisser. EXT. LANA'S HOUSE - DAY CLARK KENT, holding a little bouquet, stands on the porch of a typical Midwestern house. LANA, in her apron, has come out to welcome him. They are looking at an old-fashioned porch swing. CLARK Gee, I always loved porch swings. LANA Me too. That's why I put this one up. She sits in it toward the middle. he comes over and...slightly shy...sits more towards one side. The swing instantly tilts toward that side. LANA uphill, CLARK downhill. LANA Maybe it's be better if you moved over here a little... CLARK slides over until the swing levels off. He is very close to LANA. She smiles up at him. And just at that moment: NEW ANGLE -- the door opens and RICKY sticks his head out. CLARK and LANA move imperceptibly apart. RICKY Hey, you wanna see my room, Mr. Kent? LANA (a little smile) He decorated it himself. (now she means the swing) Should have used chains instead of rope. CLARK, lost again, shakes his head. INT. RICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY ON CLARK -- For a brief moment, a bit taken aback by what he sees. WHAT HE SEES: A perfectly ordinary kid's bedroom, which is not surprisingly, hung with large posters of SUPERMAN that seem to be looking right back at CLARK. C.U. CLARK -- the fleeting smile on his face seems to mean, "life is sure funny sometimes." TWO SHOT RICKY Do you really know Superman? CLARK (lightly) We get together sometimes. RICKY nods. he sits on the edge of his bed, just looking thoughtfully at CLARK. Finally: RICKY Mr. Kent, could I ask you something? CLARK (ready for anything) Sure. RICKY Could you get me Superman's autograph? EXT. WHEAT KING INDUSTRIAL PARK - NIGHT LONG SHOT -- All is quiet. INT. WHEAT KING VENDING MACHINE ROOM - NIGHT Nobody is here. PAN to broom closet door. It slowly opens. GUS emerges after spending the entire day wedged in the tiny, narrow space. He's bent in what looks like a permanent 45-degree angle. He's miserable, unshaven, uncomfortable and...most of all...hungover. One of the all-time hangovers. Moaning and groaning, he steps out, tries to straighten up and fails. Then he sort of manages. GUS (clutching his head) Oh, God, this is worse'n being drunk. A broom falls. The noise makes him wince. GUS Worse'n being dead. Looks at himself in mirror of vending machine, shudders, sticks out his tongue, examines it with horror. GUS Black coffee. That's what I need. (gets coins from pocket) Gotta have it. Gotta... He puts coins in the Hot Coffee machine. Click. Buzz. ON THE MACHINE -- attached to the side are a stack of removable plastic cup holders. But GUS doesn't realize he has to take one and hold it in the inset to catch the cup that will drop. The cup that drops is a pointed cone type. Quickly GUS grabs it to steady it; an instant later scalding hot coffee fills the cup. ON GUS -- yanking his hand out, holding the burning paper cup, in great pain. He can't hold onto it, puts it down on the machine's top, and it spills coffee on him. GUS (angry) I know that be Colombian coffee! I just know it! (menacingly) Gonna fix your wagon, man. He goes to the computer room. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT He partially inserts both plastic card keys in their slots. Then as he pushes one in by hand, he karate kicks the other in. He sits down at the keyboard, shakes his head and starts to punch a program on the console. As he does: ON VIDEO DISPLAY: "HELLO" GUS Ah, shut up. He pushes some keys. GUS Gonna get this thing right if it kills me. INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS More computers flashing and turning and working. EXT. CITY STREET. INTERSECTION - DAY ON A LOT OF PEDESTRIANS standing on the corner of a busy city intersection, looking at the traffic light. ON THE TRAFFIC SIGNAL -- one of those types that has a little figure of a standing man that lights up red for DON'T WALK and a figure of a walking man that lights up green for WALK. The green man lights up. ON THE PEOPLE -- they start to cross the street. On the intersecting corner, a similar CROWD of PEOPLE waits for the light to change so they can cross. SUDDENLY: ON THE LIGHT -- the green light man goes off and the red light man comes on. ON THE STREET -- caught in the middle of the street, the walking PEOPLE obey the signal and stop. The CROWD on the other corner, obeying their sign, start to walk. VARIOUS ANGLES -- halfway across, the light changes again. The first GROUP tries to continue walking, but bumps into the second GROUP, now standing in their way. ON THE SIGNAL -- completely out of control now, thanks to computer malfunction, it goes from little green Walk Man to little Red Stop Man with no discernable logic. ON THE STREET -- it's like a ballet of confusion, as the hapless PEDESTRIANS bang into each other. ON THE LIGHT -- as the signals keep switching back and forth: EFFECTS: ANIMATION -- the little Red Man loses his temper and reaches down and socks the Little Green Man. The Little Green Man hits him back. Chaos and confusion. INT. WHAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT A very frustrated GUS seated at his little computer, trying it one more time. GUS (to the gods above) Oh please, let this be the one... ON THE DISPLAY SCREEN -- GUS types in (and the digital letters and numbers show): XYR8US (after a moment) X3 The machine makes a little noise, then the word appears: INPOERATIVE. GUS (despair) Oh, no... He tries again: XYR8US (after a moment) X4 A long pause. the machine makes a slightly different noise. And then, on the video display screen, comes the message: HELLO. VULCAN WEATHER SATTELITE. CONFIRMED. ON GUS -- triumphant at last. GUS I am a genius. ON VISDEO DISPLAY SCREEN "REQUEST COORDINATES" GUS types in some stuff. A new message appears: VULCAN PROGRAM: EARTHSCAN COMMAND. GUS Command! Awright! (talking to the computer) This here's your new commander, baby. Now listen good. (starts to type coordinates) CUT TO: EXT. DEEP SPACE FULL SHOT -- in outer space, the Vulcan Weather Satellite moves in orbit. Suddenly: EFFECTS: two laser-like beams dart out from the satellite, their scarlet rays aimed at Earth. CAMERA BEGINS TO PAN DOWN THE BEAMS TILL WE CAN SEE THE GLOBE OF EARTH TARGETED FAR AWAY. EXT. SKY EFFECTS: TIME-LAPSE PHOTOGRAPHY -- Dark storm clouds begin amassing at a rapid rate. As they become a denser mass, they form the whirling cone of a tornado. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT GUS (typing away busily now) Yeah, okay, gimme the longitude here... VIDEO DISPLAY SCREEN reads: LONGITUDE 98 DEGREES. GUS And the other thing... VIDEO DISPLAY SCREEN reads: LATTITUDE 175 DEGREES (then) LOCATION: COLUMBIA SOUTH AMERICA. INT. WHEAT KING COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT GUS is relieved and wildly excited. GUS Awright. Now... He pushes some more buttons. EXT. BORDER PATROL STATIONS. COLUMBIA - DAY FULL SHOT -- a little border patrol shack. The sign above it, in Spanish, says "YOU ARE NOW ENTERING COLUMBIA. PASSPORT CONTROL." Inside, we can SEE ONE GUARD at his desk. Outside, dozing in a chair tilted against the side of the shack, is a SECOND UNIFORMED GUARD. IN B.G. we SEE the approaching tornado on the horizon. CLOSE ON THE SECOND GUARD -- snoring away peacefully. Suddenly -- a drop of water hits his nose. Then another. Then a sprinkle begins to fall. He comes awake, startled. Looks up in surprise. POV: LOOKING UP -- storm clouds everywhere. Suddenly a bolt of lightening. GUARD (leaping from his chair) Caramba! He runs into the shack. A moment later, torrential rain starts to fall. IN A SERIES OF QUICK CUTS: 1. EXT. SKY -- bolts of lightening everywhere. Thunder booming. 2. EXT. FIELDS. COFFEE PLANTATION - DAY LONG SHOT of the coffee fields whipped by the winds and becoming flooded by the rains. CLOSER ON coffee plants -- lashed by the gale force winds, bending and breaking. The furrows beneath them filling with water. 3. Trees nearby uprooted, falling across the fields. 4. EXT. FARM, COLUMBIA - DAY A primitive irrigation system: a DONKEY tethered to a pole walks in a constant circle, causing a wooden paddle wheel to turn, scooping up water from a well and lifting it above ground to the fields where it cascades down the rows of plowed fields between rows of coffee plants. (PROCESS SHOWN IN QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS). As the storm rises, the DONKEY panics, breaks free of the rope, and runs for cover as the rain starts. 5. EXT. LITTLE FARM HOUSE - DAY A small mud-hut farm house on the edge of a coffee plantation. A PEASANT FAMILY clusters in the doorway, fearfully watching the incredible destruction outside. CLOSER ON THEM -- the FATHER hugs his CHILD to his side. Behind them, inside the one-room hut we SEE the MOTHER kneeling and praying at a simple shrine with a little statue of the Virgin. The flame from the votary candles flickers and is blown out by the wind. 6. EXT. VILLAGE SQUARE, CLOMBIA - DAY The sky is darkened here, but the rains have not yet reached the village. IN WIDE SHOT we SEE a little church with a steeple on one side of the square, and a café on the other side. 7. INT. CAFÉ, VILLAGE SQUARE, COLUMBIA - DAY The OWNER and TWO WAITERS are busy decorating a wedding cake. IN B.G. we SEE the tables set for a party. 8. INT. CHURCH, VILLAGE SQUARE, COLUMBIA - DAY In the church, a wedding is in progress. A small wedding party (BRIDE, GROOM, WITNESS, FAMILY, etc.) and the PRIEST. REVERSE: In a back pew, taking pictures with an Instamatic and thrilled to be there watching an authentic South American wedding, are MR. AND MRS. MAURY STOKIS, the JINGO winners enjoying their trip. She dabs a sentimental tear; he snaps photos. S